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Dear Coleen,<\/strong><\/p>\n I\u2019ve fallen in love with a much older guy against my better judgment and I\u2019m looking for some reassurance. <\/p>\n I\u2019m 36 and he\u2019s 59, and soon to turn 60. He\u2019s really fit and young looking for his age, he\u2019s divorced but doesn\u2019t have kids, and if it weren\u2019t for the age thing he\u2019d be perfect.<\/p>\n Psychologically, I\u2019m \u00adstruggling with the idea of him turning 60 \u2013 I know it\u2019s only a number, but dating someone in their 60s just feels different somehow and he suddenly seems older.<\/p>\n I know this probably sounds quite cold, but I don\u2019t want to end up being his carer when I\u2019m in my 40s and I also want to have kids, which he\u2019s up for, too.<\/p>\n That surprised me, as I thought having children would be a deal breaker, especially as he\u2019s not a father already and he and his ex-wife chose not to start a family.<\/p>\n The trouble is, I love him and care about him now, but I don\u2019t think this nagging worry about his age will just disappear.<\/p>\n I\u2019m pretty sure he\u2019s going to ask me to marry him, so I know I need to decide what I want soon. Can you help?<\/p>\n My ex-hubby is 64 and doesn\u2019t look it or act it, but you can meet 40-year-olds who are very set in their ways, so I think \u00adattitude is what keeps you young and engaged with life. But 24 years is a significant age gap, so if you have doubts you need to express them.<\/p>\n The way forward is, to be honest with your partner, confront those fears and talk about what the \u00adchallenges might be in years to come and how you\u2019ll cope.<\/p>\n For example, at 36, you\u2019re at a point in your life when you need to think seriously about trying for a baby soon because you don\u2019t know how long it\u2019ll take or if there\u2019ll be fertility problems.<\/p>\n He might be saying he wants children because he doesn\u2019t want to lose you, but how will he cope with the challenges of being a new parent? Will most of the work be down to you and will that cause resentment?<\/p>\n I have a friend who married a man 25 years older than she is and when she hit 40 and he turned 65, they started to run into problems because he was content being at home, but she wasn\u2019t ready to sit in front of the telly every Saturday night, and they broke up.<\/p>\n You\u2019ve probably given your partner a whole new lease of life and you\u2019re both in love, so you don\u2019t want to think about any negative aspects, but it\u2019s better to be prepared for the potential challenges, so don\u2019t put off the conversation.<\/p>\nColeen says<\/strong><\/h5>\n