<\/p>\n
Sometimes the well worn excuse, \u201cI\u2019ve got a headache, honey,\u201d is actually true. Just the thought of having sex makes your head hurt, and maybe your heart as well. It\u2019s hard to feel amorous when you\u2019re angry or disappointed. And it\u2019s equally difficult to desire your husband sexually if you\u2019re not attracted to him. When you don\u2019t want to have sex with your husband, what do you do? Maybe you can relate to the wife\u2019s thoughts expressed below.<\/p>\n
1. When You Don\u2019t Want Sex<\/p>\n
Many women in difficult marriages lack a desire for sexual intimacy with their mates. And you don\u2019t have to look far to understand why. We\u2019re all aware that women are wired differently than men when it comes to sex. While men often times are aroused by physical and visual stimuli, women usually need to feel affection and trust in order to be responsive to a man\u2019s sexual advances. When a wife receives her husband during intercourse, she is, in a sense, allowing herself to be invaded by him not just physically, but on emotional and spiritual levels, as well.<\/p>\n
2. Feelings Make a Difference When You Don\u2019t Want Sex.<\/p>\n
Wives who feel loved and secure can welcome this invasion as an opportunity to experience intense intimacy and pleasure with their husbands. But wives who lack sexual desire or who feel animosity toward their husbands often experience sex as a violation rather than as loving communion.<\/p>\n
Many women in difficult marriages find sex undesirable. So, if you have problems in this area, know that you\u2019re in good . Also know that you can take steps to have a more satisfying and healthy sexual relationship.<\/p>\n
3. Suggestions When You Don\u2019t Want Sex:<\/p>\n
Here are some suggestions to start you on the path to discovery and change. For starters<\/p>\n
\u2022 Tell your husband that you want to improve your lovemaking<\/p>\n
Make sure he knows you\u2019re actively pursuing positive changes. Assure him that you understand that you have a part in the sexual problems in your marriage. Be sure he knows that your goal is for both of you to be sexually satisfied<\/p>\n
\u2022 Take a \u201cTime Out\u201d from Sex<\/p>\n
Paul said not to deny each other except for a time of prayer (1 Corinthians 7:5). The reason for a sexual hiatus isn\u2019t to avoid sex. It\u2019s to pray and take active steps to bring about change. It\u2019s not to stop resentment from building. Additionally, it\u2019s to bring healing so that resentment is no longer an issue. Talk about this with your husband. Tell him what you\u2019re doing and why<\/p>\n
If he knows the goal isn\u2019t less sex, but more and better sex, he\u2019ll likely feel less threatened by a time out. He may also be more willing to see a counselor together, read books together, or explore the problem. If he gets angry or refuses to respect your wishes, talk with a counselor. You need to gain wisdom and support for what you can d<\/p>\n
\u2022 Educate yourself<\/p>\n
There\u2019s not enough room here to address the myriad of emotional and physical aspects of sexual dysfunction. There are plenty of good books available, however. One or both of you may have grown up with ideas or teachings about sex that are inhibiting you now. <\/p>\n
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