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Creating a great relationship can be one of the most fun and exhilarating experiences you will ever go through, but getting there is the hard part.<\/p>\n
A new relationship or love interest can bring up a lot of stuff within us, such as the discomfort of not knowing whether or not the relationship will work out.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s the anticipation of whether or not he is into you, or if you are actually attracted to him.<\/p>\n
The disappointment that comes after the initial excitement phase ensures that the relationship will actually cool off and get boring.<\/p>\n
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The fact that all your sisters, friends, and neighbours are all married and shouting at the kids makes \u201chappily ever after\u201d look like a distant fantasy.<\/p>\n
So, of course, you struggle with,\u00a0\u201cWhy do I date the same type of guy that\u00a0I don\u2019t want and never the guy I do want?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
There are many obstacles to overcome in order to find \u201cthe one,\u201d so here are four reasons you are keeping the guy you want at a distance.<\/p>\n
1. Your belief in love is deflated<\/strong><\/p>\n Focusing on all the obstacles and what might happen will absolutely leave you feeling deflated and overwhelmed. <\/p>\n All that thinking can leave you exhausted, and thinking love is impossible \u2014 going\u00a0from being asked out, to the first date, from girlfriend to meeting the parents, a life tragedy to marriage.<\/p>\n So, in order not to disappoint yourself, you might decide it would be easier to give up or not put yourself wholeheartedly into the mix.<\/p>\n 2. You fail to go after what you really want<\/strong><\/p>\n When you believe that love is impossible and the mountain is too high, you will fail to go after what you really want. You are afraid that you might actually be happy and that love might work out for you.<\/p>\n Out of fear and out of playing it safe, you go out with the man who is into you. If you go out with the man who is into you, there is no risk; you are in control of the outcome.<\/p>\n If you go after what you want, there is risk involved \u2014 the risk of being heartbroken, left alone\u2026 or the risk of being happy. The risk is worth it. After all, the benefits far outweigh the risk of settling, so why not go all in?<\/p>\n 3. You believe \u201chappily ever after\u201d only applies to others<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cHappily ever after\u201d happens to someone that decides she will never give up, no matter what happens. She is someone that will take the risk and go after what she really wants.<\/p>\n The woman who will stand up again and again after rejection, breakups, and pain, and won\u2019t settle for the status quo. <\/p>\n The universe always rewards the persistent and determined among us. It is your life and your choice that creates the outcome. So, get out there, find the resources, seek the education,\u00a0and make life happen for you. The ball is in your court; believe in love and go make it your reality.<\/p>\n 4. Negativity shows up when we are happy<\/strong><\/p>\n Our crap shows up when we are happy and the only way to avoid this is to\u00a0be in a relationship with someone loving, caring and who actually supports you.<\/p>\n Feelings of insecurity, jealousy, or avoiding our childhood traumas will show up when we are happy. It is what we do about it that affects the outcome. <\/p>\n Having a relationship we cherish with someone we love can be a walk into the unknown and a whole new experience for us, but it is never one you will regret. Yes, it is scary, but it is worth it. So face your crap and\u00a0go after the guy you want, not the one you\u2019re getting.<\/p>\n You don\u2019t attract the guy you want simply because you are afraid of him; you are afraid of what it might require of you.<\/p>\n You are\u00a0afraid you may have to change in some way\u00a0to acquire it, and change is scary because it is unknown. But\u00a0it is also the most rewarding thing you can do for yourself. So\u00a0take a risk and go after what you want.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n