{"id":1039324,"date":"2022-03-30T09:46:20","date_gmt":"2022-03-30T09:46:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2022\/03\/30\/ive-just-got-married-but-i-think-ive-made-the-biggest-mistake-of-my-life\/"},"modified":"2022-03-30T09:46:20","modified_gmt":"2022-03-30T09:46:20","slug":"ive-just-got-married-but-i-think-ive-made-the-biggest-mistake-of-my-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2022\/03\/30\/ive-just-got-married-but-i-think-ive-made-the-biggest-mistake-of-my-life\/","title":{"rendered":"‘I’ve just got married but I think I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life’"},"content":{"rendered":"

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File photo: Wedding<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n

Dear Coleen<\/h4>\n

I\u2019ve made a terrible mistake by getting married to my long-term partner and I now want out, even though we only walked down the aisle a few months ago.<\/p>\n

On my\u00a0wedding\u00a0day I felt sick instead of happy and couldn\u2019t wait until the reception ended, so I could cry in the bathroom and not have to talk to guests.<\/p>\n

I knew it was a mistake, but I just got carried along with all the planning and his promises of how great things would be. Well, it\u2019s the same old life \u2013 and nothing\u2019s changed at all.<\/p>\n

We\u2019ve been together for nearly 10 years and I did love him for a lot of that time, but over the past few years he\u2019s become insufferable, lazy, selfish and controlling (although it\u2019s quite subtle).<\/p>\n

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Everything is on his terms and I find myself just going along with whatever he wants. I don\u2019t want to sleep with him or have his\u00a0kids\u00a0or retire with him, but I feel so stupid and don\u2019t know how I can get out of this horrible mess.<\/p>\n

My parents spent a lot of money on the wedding, as did we. I really need some advice.<\/p>\n

Coleen says<\/h2>\n

I don\u2019t think your situation is that unusual. I\u2019ve had many letters over the years from both women and men who\u2019ve found themselves at the altar because they felt it was too late in the day to call off the wedding.<\/p>\n

I think it\u2019s common to feel the weight of expectation and you don\u2019t want to let people down, particularly if they\u2019ve invested time and money.<\/p>\n

From your letter, I think the main problem is that you don\u2019t have the confidence to take control of your own life and go after what you want.<\/p>\n

You seem to have a very passive role in the relationship, which you obviously don\u2019t want, but the good thing is it\u2019s never too late to take control.<\/p>\n

You can\u2019t change your husband and a marriage certificate certainly won\u2019t alter him, but you can change how you react to the situation.<\/p>\n

If you really don\u2019t want to be in this marriage, then don\u2019t stay because you\u2019re worried about upsetting others.<\/p>\n

Start by telling people how you feel and get some support, and have the conversation with your husband.<\/p>\n

Once it\u2019s out there, you can start taking steps and seek professional advice. Good luck.<\/p>\n

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