https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=embed<\/a>
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\n <\/p>\nI never thought I would fall in love with an abuser. I thought if an abuser walked into my life, I would know. But, I didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n
I never knew how quickly it can happen. How easy it is to fall victim to\u00a0abuse. This is my story.<\/p>\n
I met him at work. We started dating about 5 months after I started at the organization and about 2 months after we met in person.<\/p>\n
He proposed to me, and I left him shortly after that.\u00a0I never looked back.<\/p>\n
Here are just some of the things he did to me in our relationship.<\/p>\n
Maybe after reading this, you\u2019ll be more aware of what to watch out for, and what\u00a0isn\u2019t\u00a0normal.<\/p>\n
By the second week of our relationship,\u00a0he cheated on me with his ex.<\/p>\n
As a peace offering and a show of remorse in an attempt to make reparations, he said, \u201cI\u2019ll turn on my GPS Find Friends so that you\u2019ll know where I am all the times.\u201d<\/p>\n
A week later I said, \u201cI\u2019ll turn mine on too because I care about you and I have nothing to hide.\u201d<\/p>\n
One day, he called my desk phone at work asking where I was, \u201cI\u2019m at my desk. You\u2026\u2026 just\u2026.called\u2026\u2026me.\u201d<\/p>\n
He replied, \u201cBut the GPS says you\u2019re at TGI Fridays.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
I thought he was going to get me microchipped next.<\/p>\n
I thought to myself, that\u2019ll fix him.<\/p>\n
iPhone FaceTime<\/strong><\/p>\nShortly after that, one night he said, \u201cHey, can we leave the phone on when we go to sleep? It makes me feel closer to you.\u201d (We were living in our separate homes at that point.)<\/p>\n
I thought that was romantic and sweet.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Stalking\u00a0is neither\u00a0romantic nor sweet. He didn\u2019t trust me because he had a guilty conscience.<\/p>\n
Ownership and possession<\/strong><\/p>\nChecking my receipts<\/strong><\/p>\nOne day, I drove through McDonald\u2019s for a soda on the way to see him. This made me run 10 minutes late.<\/p>\n
He\u00a0asked to see the receipt\u00a0because he thought I somehow squeezed in a t\u00eate-\u00e0-t\u00eate or tryst in the missing 10 minutes en route.<\/p>\n
Spoofing and\u00a0stalking<\/strong><\/p>\nEvery time I blocked one form of communication, he found yet another way to get around it.<\/p>\n
It was like having Medusa as your ex.<\/p>\n
Every time you cut off the head of one of the venomous snakes, another would grow in its place.<\/p>\n
So, he spoofed his phone number when I blocked his.<\/p>\n
When I wouldn\u2019t answer my phone, he showed up and parked in front of my condo.<\/p>\n
He kept a log of when my lights would come on \u2013 an indicator of my comings and goings.<\/p>\n
I now control my lights with Alexa \u2013 that ought to put a crimp in his style.\u00a0He continues to stalk me.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s an established pattern of behavior of\u00a0control\u00a0for him.<\/p>\n
He lays low for a few weeks, generally five to six, and then resurfaces.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve been told that he will eventually tire out and leave me alone.<\/p>\n
I wish I believed them. I know him and I know how he thinks.<\/p>\n
iPhone battery charger<\/h3>\n
He bought me a wireless battery charger for my phone so that \u201cyou\u2019ll be available whenever I need you.\u201d<\/p>\n
The day I left him, I took great pleasure in letting my phone battery die and didn\u2019t recharge it for two\u00a0days.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Negging<\/strong><\/p>\nHe told me, \u201cYou know, when we first met, you were overweight.\u201d<\/p>\n
I am 5\u20193 and was 110 lbs. I lost 13.3 lbs and became borderline anorexic.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Urgent care<\/strong><\/p>\nOn the evening of December 16, 2017, this is the cell phone conversation that took place as I was driving to urgent care:<\/p>\n
Him: \u201cWhere are you going?\u201d<\/p>\n
Me: \u00a0\u201cI\u2019m going to Urgent Care.\u201d<\/p>\n
Him: \u201cWhat are you going to tell them?\u201d<\/p>\n
Me: \u00a0\u201cI guess, that I tripped and fell down.\u201d<\/p>\n
Him: \u00a0\u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n
These are just some of the things my ex-boyfriend has done.<\/p>\n
If your partner exhibits any of these signs or has done any of these things\u2026they are not\u00a0romantic nor is it a sign of love.\u00a0It\u2019s abuse.\u00a0<\/p>\n
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