![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/1639746200_694_relationship_1600x1067-696x464.jpg\" "\\"relationship_1600x1067\\"\/")
<\/div>\nDear Coleen<\/h3>\n
My husband and I are separated and in the process of getting a divorce. It\u2019s pretty amicable because the split was a mutual decision. <\/p>\n
But my dilemma is this, we had a family holiday booked to a villa that we go to every year, and we agreed we\u2019d still go together as a family for the sake of the kids.<\/p>\n
However, he\u2019s now dropped a spanner in the works, as he\u2019s asked if it\u2019s OK if his new partner joins us for a week of the two-week holiday.<\/p>\n
Is it just me or is this a step too far? We have remained friends and have done everything possible to ensure our sons are OK, but this request has made me angry.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
We\u2019re not even divorced and I haven\u2019t met anyone else, so it doesn\u2019t feel right or equal.<\/p>\n
My kids have only met their dad\u2019s girlfriend a couple of times (I haven\u2019t met her at all), and I think it would be weird for them seeing their dad with another woman while I\u2019m there too!<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve made my mind up that I\u2019m going to say no, even if it means he doesn\u2019t come at all or only comes for a week on his own.<\/p>\n
I think I\u2019m right, but I\u2019d love your opinion on this.<\/p>\n
Coleen says<\/strong><\/p>\n I think if that\u2019s how you feel, then you\u2019re right. You\u2019re not ready for that \u2013 there may come a time in the future when you are, but right now you\u2019re not. <\/p>\n He might be getting pressure from his new girlfriend, who objects to him going on holiday with his ex, so he\u2019s felt under pressure to ask you.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re going to feel uncomfortable, then don\u2019t agree to it.<\/p>\n Certainly, being cooped up in a villa together doesn\u2019t seem like a good idea \u2013 if it were a hotel and you were in separate rooms and getting together now and again for lunch or a swim, that might be different.<\/p>\n But sharing a house with the new girlfriend seems a step too far so close to your break-up.<\/p>\n I think it could be complicated for the children, too \u2013 if it\u2019s just you and the ex, they might take it as a hopeful sign you\u2019re getting back together and, equally, if the new girlfriend is there, too, that\u2019s weird and awkward for them. They can\u2019t win.<\/p>\n To me, it sounds way too soon for these kinds of chummy get-togethers.<\/p>\n If he says he can\u2019t come without his partner, then why can\u2019t they stay somewhere nearby and take the kids out some of the time, which would also give you a break? <\/p>\n But as things stand, it doesn\u2019t sound like a relaxing break to me!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n![\"Coleen](\"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/2_Coleen-Nolan.jpg\")