{"id":1018372,"date":"2022-03-11T13:52:56","date_gmt":"2022-03-11T13:52:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2022\/03\/11\/i-gave-up-my-dream-of-becoming-the-greatest-female-rapper-in-africa-because-i-was-suffering-a-deep-dark-depression\/"},"modified":"2022-03-11T13:52:56","modified_gmt":"2022-03-11T13:52:56","slug":"i-gave-up-my-dream-of-becoming-the-greatest-female-rapper-in-africa-because-i-was-suffering-a-deep-dark-depression","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2022\/03\/11\/i-gave-up-my-dream-of-becoming-the-greatest-female-rapper-in-africa-because-i-was-suffering-a-deep-dark-depression\/","title":{"rendered":"I Gave Up My Dream Of Becoming The Greatest Female Rapper In Africa Because I Was Suffering A Deep Dark Depression"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Nigerian rapper, Eva Alordiah has opened up on why she gave up her dream of\u00a0becoming the \u201cgreatest female rapper in Africa\u201d 5 years ago.\u00a0<\/h2>\n
In a very long write-up on her Twitter page, Eva Alordiah disclosed that she battled a deep dark depression but she eventually overcame it.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Eva went on to list ways one can overcome depression and one of the ways she did that was trying out new things.<\/p>\n
She wrote;\u00a0<\/p>\n
5 years ago I gave up my dream of becoming the greatest female rapper in Africa. I was suffering deep, dark depression. Today I own a Tech Start-up, I have new life & I\u2019m Recording again! Here\u2019s what I have learned about giving up your dreams, Depression & Finding yourself<\/p>\n
You are an Artist, You are NOT your Art. Over the years I had become identified with what I did \u2014Eva The Rapper \u2013 I didn\u2019t know myself beyond that. It has taken years of persistent introspection, meditation & patience to know myself and stand apart from my work.<\/p>\n
I now understand the Depression as a Spiritual experience- a shedding of old layers, the stripping away of illusion, a coming face to face with all that isn\u2019t so I can see what IS I am not my thoughts, I am not my Body. I am not my accomplishments. I AM \/\/not medical advice<\/p>\n
The Depression was the pathway to my Awakening. It forced me to give up who I thought I was, to block off everyone else and their dogmas, and to accept a state of nothingness. I found peace when I accepted myself as No thing, No one, No me. \/\/not medical advice<\/p>\n
Your Purpose in Life has nothing to do with making Money & getting Fame. I was famous, yet I was dying daily in the loneliness of my privacy. I found Purpose when I learned that my Gifts were given me by the Creator to help people Focus on serving people, all else is bullshit<\/p>\n
Fame can Destroy you if you are not grounded in your Source. Everyone knew who I was, but I looked in the mirror & was lost! I committed myself to KNOWING my Self & God within. I questioned everything & searched in weird places for ancient wisdom. If you Seek you shall find<\/p>\n
Be You, the world will adjust. In finding myself again, I realized I didn\u2019t have to do what was expected of me. I started using my gifts in New ways & felt no pressure to please anyone. I simply did what I wanted to do. You are still here.<\/p>\n
Sometimes you may have to give up who you think you should be so you can become who you really came to be. I thought I wanted to be a Rapper. Now I have come to understand myself as a Teacher at my core. My skills in Writing, Speaking, Music- all combine now to help me Teach<\/p>\n
What people think is their problem to deal with. Trust that You know what you are doing. I got even more depressed reading comments like \u2014 \u201cYou fell off \u201cWhat are you doing with your life \u201cYour career crashed\u2014 I learned to block the noise & trust MY WAY. I am happier for it<\/p>\n
In Finding yourself and starting over, you are ALLOWED to do whatever the fuck you want.<\/p>\n
I gave myself permission to try new things & do it ALL!\u00a0<\/p>\n
I built a SAAS platform<\/p>\n
I created content online I hosted Webinars<\/p>\n
I did more writing<\/p>\n
As an Artist, you can do many things, but you CANNOT be everything at the same time. Trying my hands in different things meant that I learned and acquired many diverse skills quickly. But to grow as a person, I have had to CHOOSE one thing & combine my skills to fulfill that<\/p>\n
As an Artist, taking a break from your Art is Beneficial. If you spend your time away developing yourself and acquiring new skills, everything you learn will combine to make you an even better Artist. I didn\u2019t quit music. I stopped to go find my true self. I am better for it<\/p>\n
7 Things that pulled me out of the Depression: Making peace with being a NOBODY\u00a0 Positive affirmations & Journaling<\/p>\n
\u00a0An obsession with Self development Intense Daily Exercise Ferocious reading & study Meditation Connecting with Nature<\/p>\n
\/\/not medical advice<\/p>\n
Everything you were told is a Lie. You have to give up the old Mind & become born-again. I was raised Christian\u2014after the depression, being born again holds NEW meaning. You must rewire your beliefs & become transformed by the reNEWing of your mind. Question everything<\/p>\n
Happiness is NOT a destination. It is a state of mind that can be tapped into by the redirection of your Awareness. People want to be happy when they: -get the job -become famous -have more money If you are not happy where you are now, you won\u2019t be happy where you are going<\/p>\n
Entertainment is great. Education is Power.\u00a0<\/p>\n
For 5 years through my healing process I stopped listening to music stopped watching TV stopped going out<\/p>\n
Instead I stayed home & read books listened to audio trainings enrolled in Youtube University spent time with fam369310<\/p>\n
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Here are 6 Speakers and 5 Books that Helped me a Lot when I was depressed:<\/p>\n
\u2013 Jiddu Krishnamurti \u2013 Neville Goddard \u2013 Alan Watts\u00a0 \u2013 Dr Myles Munroe \u2013 Jim Rohn \u2013 Les Brown<\/p>\n
\u2013 Think and Grow Rich \u2013 The Power of Now \u2013 Seth Speaks \u2013 Feeling is the Secret \u2013 The Artists Way<\/p>\n
You can\u2019t give your Best to the world when you are broken. I always knew I was going to get back to my music as some point, I just didn\u2019t know when. Day after day I watched my Confidence plummet but my focus was on being healthy, not pleasing the world. Take care of you<\/p>\n
Yes I am back to recording again!\u00a0<\/p>\n
Fortunately, I don\u2019t give a fuck about fame.\u00a0<\/p>\n
I am now only making music for people who want it.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Today I find fulfillment in using my words not only to Rap & Entertain, but to Speak, Teach, Inspire, Empower and uplift people.<\/p>\n
I now spend my time juggling between helping Creators make money selling courses\u00a0and recording music.<\/p>\n
It is by Grace.<\/p>\n
PS: When I was depressed, I was also unfortunately Broke AF. I turned to the Internet and learned how to make money online by selling my own digital products.<\/p>\n
Be vocal about your Pain. Every time you share, you help the next person. Sharing my stories through the years has been a super weapon for me<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n