![\"couple\"](\"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/EVuMLaWXkAUMnvI-Copy-696x464.jpg\" "\\"couple\\"\/")
<\/div>\nYou don\u2019t need to ask him where this is going. He\u2019s telling you all the time.<\/p>\n
If he\u2019s not asking you out often, he\u2019s not interested in a relationship. If he only texts you when he\u2019s bored at work, he\u2019s not interested in a relationship. If you only hear from him in the middle of the night, he\u2019s not interested in anything but sex.<\/p>\n
This is also why you don\u2019t only date him, you date tons of guys all at the same time. Let the best man fucking win, damn it.<\/p>\n
What has this guy done to deserve your exclusivity? What has he done to prove to you that you should cut off all your other options?<\/p>\n
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You pressing him for a verbal answer isn\u2019t going to make him want to be with you if he doesn\u2019t already. It isn\u2019t going to make you look like a confident, sexy woman, either.<\/p>\n
A confident sexy woman is paying attention to who is paying attention to her. Period. If it\u2019s not him, then he\u2019s out of the running, or very low on the list.<\/p>\n
This is YOUR love life. This is YOUR time and energy. Don\u2019t be so eager to shove it in some random guy\u2019s face. Stop committing to men simply because YOU like him. That doesn\u2019t mean he likes YOU. Don\u2019t choose him and then try to make him want you.<\/p>\n
Stop opening the door every five seconds looking out to see who\u2019s coming up the walk way. Be too goddamn busy to care who the fuck is coming to your door. And only open it for those who have the fucking balls to knock on it. Stop opening it and waving them in from the street.<\/p>\n
Stop saying words. Walk the fuck away. They\u2019ll notice that.<\/p>\n
Iwas up late last night watching trash TV at the hotel my friend got to bribe me into taking her to LAX. I\u2019m a sucker for down pillows and comforters and rooms I don\u2019t have to clean.<\/p>\n
She put on a show called Marrying Millions. Yep, that show exists. And I saw a perfect example of exactly what I\u2019m talking about.<\/p>\n
The couple is a 34 yo woman and a 29 yo millionaire entrepreneur\/rapper man. They\u2019ve been dating for a year. He got her a diamond bracelet for her birthday, not an engagement ring and she was pissed. She decided she needed to talk to him about this. (DON\u2019T DO IT, I\u2019m screaming at the screen)<\/p>\n
She wants to know where this relationship is going. (yawn) She\u2019s 34 and wants to get married and have kids and start a family.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s a relationship, not a business transaction. You\u2019re dealing with an actual person with their own feelings and wants and timeline, not an inanimate object you can put anywhere you want.<\/p>\n
He said he loves her and wants to spend the rest of his life with her but he\u2019s not ready to get married tomorrow. She doesn\u2019t want to accept that. She wants a guarantee that if she waits he\u2019ll marry her.<\/p>\n
THAT\u2019S NOT HOW RELATIONSHIPS WORK<\/p>\n
No one can guarantee you shit. That\u2019s the risk you take in love. Do you love him? Then it shouldn\u2019t matter when it happens. And pressuring him isn\u2019t going to make it happen any sooner.<\/p>\n
Only it did. He took her to a ring shop the next day.<\/p>\n
But here\u2019s the thing: her pressure didn\u2019t make HIM any more ready to marry her. It made him afraid to lose her, sure. So she was going to get a Shut the Fuck Up ring out of fear instead of an inspired, heartfelt proposal.<\/p>\n
She said to him, \u201cAre you doing this because you feel like I pressured you?\u201d And THAT\u2019S why you don\u2019t do this kind of shit, because you will NEVER know the truth. You will NEVER KNOW if he asked you because you pressured him or because he really wanted to.<\/p>\n
The ONLY way to know if a man truly wants to be with you is if it\u2019s HIS idea, HIS choice, of his own volition and not from any emotional manipulation on your part.<\/p>\n
Isn\u2019t that what you want? Someone who wants you because you\u2019re you and not because you have to convince\/threaten\/pressure them to be with you? That screams desperate, not confident. That screams willing to settle, not you\u2019re the best choice for me.<\/p>\n
Work on yourself. Build your confidence, self-respect, self-worth, self-esteem.<\/p>\n
The more you love yourself the less you\u2019ll be willing to settle for and\/or throw yourself at the next remotely passable guy who shows you basic human kindness that you confuse for romantic interest.<\/p>\n
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