{"id":1010734,"date":"2022-03-04T16:41:41","date_gmt":"2022-03-04T16:41:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2022\/03\/04\/my-teenage-son-wont-listen-to-me-when-i-try-to-talk-to-him-about-sex\/"},"modified":"2022-03-04T16:41:41","modified_gmt":"2022-03-04T16:41:41","slug":"my-teenage-son-wont-listen-to-me-when-i-try-to-talk-to-him-about-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2022\/03\/04\/my-teenage-son-wont-listen-to-me-when-i-try-to-talk-to-him-about-sex\/","title":{"rendered":"‘My teenage son won’t listen to me when I try to talk to him about sex’"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Dear Coleen<\/strong>,<\/p>\n

The other day I found a packet of condoms in my son\u2019s sports bag, so I know he\u2019s having sex.<\/p>\n

He\u2019s 17 and has been dating the daughter of some friends of ours, although he won\u2019t say much about the relationship.<\/p>\n

If I\u2019ve ever tried to talk about sex in the past he\u2019s literally curled up into a ball and covered his ears!<\/p>\n

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He hates me discussing anything like that and just says he\u2019s not an idiot and knows what he\u2019s doing.<\/p>\n

I feel I need to talk to him, though, especially as this girl is only 16 and her parents are very protective over her.<\/p>\n

She\u2019s an only child and they have big plans for her.<\/p>\n

They know our kids have been seeing each other, but maybe they assume it\u2019s more as friends than lovers, as they\u2019ve known each other since they were five and have grown up together.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s an awkward situation all round and I\u2019d hate my son to be irresponsible or do anything to upset this girl, as we\u2019d never hear the end of it. Am I panicking over nothing and how do I broach the subject with my son?<\/p>\n

Coleen says<\/h2>\n

OK, I think you are panicking a bit and also not really giving him credit for having the condoms and obviously practising safe sex with his girlfriend.<\/p>\n

No kid likes to talk about sex with their parents, or be sat down and given a lecture about what they can do.<\/p>\n

The way I\u2019ve always approached it is to let my kids know that nothing is off limits when it comes to confiding in me and asking for advice.<\/p>\n

And if I have wanted to say something important about sex, then I haven\u2019t made it a big scary talk. I\u2019ve dropped it into conversation during a quiet moment.<\/p>\n

The thing is to normalise it and don\u2019t make it a subject that\u2019s taboo or awkward.<\/p>\n

Maybe the way to start is to say you found the condoms when you were doing his washing and are glad he\u2019s practising safe sex, then tell him you\u2019re always willing to listen if he has any questions, worries or concerns when it comes to sex and relationships.<\/p>\n

Also, I think you need to ask yourself why you\u2019re so worried about her parents.<\/p>\n

Maybe this is more to do with your friendship with them and underlying tensions.<\/p>\n

As far as I can see, your son is being responsible, and at 17, you have to expect sex to be on the agenda for many young people.<\/p>\n

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