![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/hand-kiss-696x522.jpg\" "\\"hand-kiss\\"\/")
<\/div>\nDo you remember your\u00a0first real kiss? I do. I had kissed others before, made out with others is probably a better way to put it, but this was my first\u00a0kiss.<\/p>\n
The first time I felt the anticipation for hours, felt myself falling in love with him as we watched \u201cChariots of Fire\u201d\u00a0in the theater with the swells of the soundtrack almost too much to bear, the visceral tingle of sitting next to him, the feel of his strong hand in mine, the smell of him next to me.<\/p>\n
And then after, when I pulled my mother\u2019s beat-up Dodge Dart to his house, and I stared forward, I trembled, wondering what he\u2019d do. And I waited.<\/p>\n
He whispered, but with strength, \u201cCan I steal a kiss?\u201d \u201cYou don\u2019t have to steal it,\u201d I said, and he held my face in his hands and his lips met mine and it was the most intimate, most sensual, most incredible kiss ever.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I was sixteen. And I can still see it in my mind, and I can still feel it in my heart.<\/p>\n
Kissing is, I believe, one of the most important displays of affection in a romantic relationship; the ultimate in closeness.<\/p>\n
You may be thinking, um, there is something else a little closer: sex.<\/p>\n
Sexual intimacy, when two people are together, body, mind, and soul connected in the ultimate of ways. I think intercourse is great. When you\u2019re in a romantic relationship, that closeness\u00a0is\u00a0beyond compare. It\u00a0brings two people\u00a0together\u00a0in a way nothing else can.<\/p>\n
But it all starts with a kiss, and it\u2019s not the same without kissing.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s sex without the personal, intimate, I want to look in your eyes, I want more than your body, I want your soft cheek cupped in my hand, or the feel of your unshaven chin scratchy against mine.<\/p>\n
Kissing is not only intimate, but it is highly personal<\/strong><\/p>\n In the movie \u201cPretty Woman,\u201d both parties initially make an agreement, they will have sex all week, escort here, there, and everywhere, but no kissing on the mouth. It\u2019s too personal and romantic. And when the plot shifts and they fall in love, they kiss. And when they kiss, everything changes.<\/p>\n Yes, I\u2019m referencing a Hollywood movie about a prostitute gone clean, but the point is, they nailed it on the kissing.\u00a0It\u2019s personal.<\/p>\n Kissing is more personal than sex. And in this case, Hollywood has a point. I\u2019m a little more discerning about who I sleep with than any old Richard Gere in an Armani suit, and I don\u2019t tend to have sex with anyone I wouldn\u2019t also want to kiss, but I think you get the point.<\/p>\n Kissing: The Love Drug<\/strong><\/p>\n In an ABC\u00a0article, psychologists reported that the\u00a0First Kiss Is More Powerful Than First Sexual Encounter. In fact, up to 90% of people remember details of their first\u00a0romantic kiss, a memory that is even more powerful than their first\u00a0sexual encounter.<\/p>\n According to psychologist and licensed clinical social worker\u00a0LeslieBeth Wish,\u00a0lips are highly sensitive tissue, with nerve endings that signal reactions such as hot and cold, sharp and soft.<\/p>\n The nerve endings in lips also activate feelings of closeness and attachment by\u00a0arousing the brain\u2019s love chemicals\u00a0such as oxytocin. Oxytocin is a hormone that gives us that wonderful, weak-kneed feeling.\u00a0And the chemicals that produce that feeling prompt you to want to kiss more and create more, like a love drug. So kiss away.<\/p>\n Casual sex is so common these days, it\u2019s easy to forget how much a kiss can do. Kisses are powerful connectors of the first touch and can overwhelm you with pleasure.<\/p>\n What About Eye Contact? Or Talking?<\/strong><\/p>\n Eye contact adds to the intimacy of any sexual act, so if you\u2019re kissing with your eyes closed you are missing out.<\/p>\n Take a look at your partner eye-to-eye and establish this is a special moment. It doesn\u2019t mean you need to have a staring contest, you might freak your partner out. But sneak a peak every now and then, and if your partner\u2019s eyes are closed, maybe use the next tip about talking, and tell them, in a whisper, \u201cI want to look at you, open your eyes, this feels so special.\u201d<\/p>\n Kissing is a strong language<\/strong><\/p>\n Does talking ruin the moment? Not always.<\/p>\n Michael Christian, author of \u201cThe Art of Kissing,\u201d says talking can add to the chemistry. His research found the number one sentence most like to hear is: \u201cYou\u2019re such a good kisser.\u201d He also suggests, \u201cYou\u2019re so beautiful,\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re so hot,\u201d or \u201cI never want to stop kissing you.\u201d<\/p>\n This does two things. First, it shows you\u2019re serious about\u00a0who you\u2019re kissing. And second, it communicates you\u2019re in the first stage of what you wish was a closer connection. It\u2019s not just a kiss, it\u2019s the start of something more. Let\u2019s face it, who doesn\u2019t want that from the person they\u2019re kissing?<\/p>\n Sealed With a Kiss, Or Not?<\/strong><\/p>\n From\u00a0Alfred Eisenstaedt\u2019s famous photo\u00a0of the sailor kissing the nurse after World War II, to the lip-lock of gay cowboys Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal in the 2005 film \u201cBrokeback Mountain,\u201d a relationship can truly be sealed with a kiss.<\/p>\n It can also break the deal.<\/p>\n According to Sheril Kirshenbaum, author of \u201cThe Science of Kissing: What Our Lips Are Telling Us,\u201d 59% of men and 66% percent of women end a relationship because of a\u00a0bad first kiss.<\/p>\n A kiss is the ultimate litmus test<\/strong><\/p>\n So much is communicated with a kiss, including the kisser\u2019s ability to be sensitive to his or her partner\u2019s kissing style and to adapt to it.<\/p>\n In addition to opening the door to romance, revealing technique and sensitivity, a kiss may\u00a0serve an evolutionary purpose. Men\u2019s saliva contains testosterone that can, over repeated exposure, arouse a woman\u2019s libido and eventually persuade her to mate.<\/p>\n In addition, in Kirshenbaum\u2019s\u00a0State University of New York\u00a0at Albany study, men described kissing as a \u201cmeans to an end\u201d while women saw it as a route to a deeper relationship.<\/p>\n Women are more sensitive to scent and taste, using their senses to detect if the man is the \u201cright match.\u201d<\/p>\n Kissing includes both nature and nurture.<\/p>\n My first real kiss was the moment I first fell in love, and everything about it was perfect. I remember so many others: A kiss atop the Eiffel Tower; a kiss from a special love on New Year\u2019s Eve; a kiss from a man I loved as a friend when we finally took our relationship to the next level; a kiss at the top of a ski slope when I was terrified and needed reassurance; a kiss after years of flirtation, knowing it would be perfection, and a morning kiss after, well, the morning after.<\/p>\n Kissing is a connection that is instinctual, romantic, sexual, emotional, nurturing, comforting, gentle, aggressive, protective, vulnerable, confident, scared, and loving.<\/p>\n So much can be communicated with a kiss. And that is why, a kiss is more than just a kiss.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n