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Asking someone out can be downright scary. Your heart may be racing right now just thinking about your crush. You keep telling yourself that today will be the day you would do it, whether it’s when you both have physics class together through a text message during your lunch break or a phone call right before you head to bed.
One common misconception about our dating culture is that the awkwardness and sweaty palms only happen in our teenage years. But many adults can find it just as nerve wracking and struggle with it. We understand how intimidating it is to put yourself out there and want to help you practice being open and vulnerable.
Here are five ways to ask someone out. One, find a common ground. Before asking someone out, it’s important to find out whether both persons have something in common. Instead of making generic small talk, you can delve into topics that help you get to know each other.
For instance, you can talk about recent movies or books that made an impact on your life if you know that they have also seen or read them. You can also ask them about what their passions, interests, hobbies, and dreams are.
Once you find something that the two of you share, you can converse with them on a deeper level rather than having dead end conversations that prevent the both of you from growing closer.
Two, pick a safe activity. Pick an activity that allows the both of you to bond and have a good time going out for coffee or drinks. A walk in the park or a museum are safe options that aren’t too overwhelming. Make sure that the location you pick isn’t too crowded or noisy that prevents you from hearing each other speak.
This is especially important for introverts as your crush and introvert. It’s commonly advised not to go to the movie theaters the first date because it doesn’t give you a chance to interact. Much, but if the two of you decide to have ice cream and talk about the film later, it can act as an icebreaker and give you something to talk about.
Three, it’s cliche and overused, but be yourself. You hear this line all the time, but there’s a reason why it’s true. When you’re in a relationship with someone, it’s not about constantly telling each other how great you are since that leaves you no room to be yourself on your bad days.
The same applies to asking someone out. Avoid sounding like a salesperson. Instead, be authentic and honest. Let the other person know that you think they’re interesting and that you’re willing to learn more about them. Remember not to be pushy or forceful. After all, you can’t make someone return the same feelings.
Respecting each other’s space and boundaries is important for figure out where you want to ask them. In this day and age, we can text, e-mail, or call our crushes when we want to ask them out. Asking someone out in person is also an option, but it may be used less often nowadays because of how intimidating it can be.
Depending on how long you have known the person and whether or not the two of you have exchanged phone numbers, added each other on social media, or have mutual friends, figure out which method works best for you. Keep in mind that each platform has its own pros and cons.
For instance, asking someone out in person doesn’t give you a chance to retype a message, but it does allow you to see their reaction and their answer will be immediate rather than waiting to hear back from a text.
Finally, be brave and take the leap. Don’t wait too long to make your move. Seize the day. It’s scary putting your heart in the love game but just be of good courage.
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