{"id":674830,"date":"2019-08-07T14:52:04","date_gmt":"2019-08-07T14:52:04","guid":{"rendered":"<br><div itemprop=\"description\">\n\t\t<p><strong>Am I world\u2019s worst bastard?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Dear Bunmi,<\/strong><\/p><!-- between content ad -->\n\n<p>I\u2019m in my 60s with three daughters and four grandchildren.\u00a0 I married my wife 42 years ago, but short"},"modified":"2019-08-07T14:52:04","modified_gmt":"2019-08-07T14:52:04","slug":"am-i-worlds-worst-bastard","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2019\/08\/07\/am-i-worlds-worst-bastard\/","title":{"rendered":"Am I world\u2019s worst bastard?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><\/p>\n<div itemprop=\"description\">\n<p><strong>Am I world\u2019s worst bastard?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Dear Bunmi,<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><!-- between content ad --><\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m in my 60s with three daughters and four grandchildren.\u00a0 I married my wife 42 years ago, but shortly before our 30th anniversary, I noticed subtle changes that became progressively worse. She was\u00a0\u00a0 diagnosed with Alzheimers, became increasingly irrational and was eventually admitted. I was devastated, and so were our daughters. Eventually she was allowed back home needing round-clock-care.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_874435\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-874435\" style=\"width: 412px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-874435 size-full jetpack-lazy-image\" alt=\"Bastard\" width=\"412\" height=\"289\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\"  data-lazy- src=\"https:\/\/ghanamma.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/cartoon-fake-love.jpg\" \/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-874435 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/ghanamma.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/1565189524_838_cartoon-fake-love.jpg\" alt=\"Bastard\" width=\"412\" height=\"289\"   data-recalc-dims=\"1\"\/><\/noscript><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-874435\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">wife<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>My husband raped my 2 daughters, defiled my underage, trader tells court<span class=\"A11yNotice-u1v0gg-0 dWDZbM\">(Opens in a new browser tab)<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Now I have become close to one of my clients, a widow my own age. Wracked with guilt, I feel I have betrayed my wife, whom I still love. Our daughters were not happy about it, but they say life is short and if I\u2019m happy, so be it.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m not looking for absolution (although I did consider talking to our pastor, then rejected the thought), but an unbiased outside opinion. Am I the world\u2019s worst bastard or a victim of circumstances?<\/p>\n<p>Bernard, <strong>by e-mail.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Dear Bernard,<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I cannot imagine anyone judging you as \u2018the world\u2019s worst bastard.\u2019 I believe a lot of people will agree with your daughter \u2013 and they\u2019re the only ones with the right to judge this sad case. You stoutly maintain that you still love the wife with whom you shared a long married life, but the painful fact is this \u2013 that wife is no longer with you.<\/p>\n<p>One of the cruellest aspects of dementia is that those who love the sufferer are left bereaved \u2013 condemned to witness what is, afterall, a form of living death.<\/p>\n<p>You do not say whether your wife still recognises you, but since it sounds as if the progress of the disease was fast, I fear it may be unlikely.<\/p>\n<p>Devastated, you kept going, and then met another lonely person who could offer mental and physical comfort \u2014 which (I have no doubt) is as important for her as it is for you. It is a good thing that you have found solace with your lady friend, the wife you loved will never come home to you and you need to seek help on how to contend with the dementia that plagues your marriage.<\/p>\n<p>This will give you some ideas about ways to enjoy the times you have with her. Your visits are important for both of you (and for your daughters), and nothing should get in their way. As for the rest of the time, when something is lost, the universe often supplies something to be found, and bring joy.<\/p>\n<p>Vanguard<\/p>\n<p><h3 class=\"jp-relatedposts-headline\"><em>Related<\/em><\/h3>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p><script type=\"21460351e03452f743f64c21-text\/javascript\">(function(d, s, id) {\n\t\tvar js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];\n\t\tif (d.getElementById(id)) return;\n\t\tjs = d.createElement(s); js.id = id;\n\t\tjs.src = \"http:\/\/connect.facebook.net\/en_GB\/sdk.js#xfbml=1&version=v2.9&appId=1281965775160257\";\n\t\tfjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs);\n\t}(document, 'script', 'facebook-jssdk'));<\/script><script type=\"21460351e03452f743f64c21-text\/javascript\">\n\t\/\/Facebook\n\t(function(d, s, id) {\n\t  var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];\n\t  if (d.getElementById(id)) return;\n\t  js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id;\n\t  js.src = \"http:\/\/connect.facebook.net\/en_US\/sdk.js#xfbml=1&version=v2.4&appId=513460408765074\";\n\t  fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs);\n\t}(document, 'script', 'facebook-jssdk'));\n\t<\/script><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Am I world\u2019s worst bastard? Dear Bunmi, I\u2019m in my 60s with three daughters and four grandchildren.\u00a0 I married my wife 42 years ago, but shortly before our 30th anniversary, I noticed subtle changes that became progressively worse. She was\u00a0\u00a0 diagnosed with Alzheimers, became increasingly irrational and was eventually admitted. I was devastated, and so [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":674831,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-674830","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-lifestyle"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Am I world\u2019s worst bastard? - Ghanamma.com<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2019\/08\/07\/am-i-worlds-worst-bastard\/\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:title\" content=\"Am I world\u2019s worst bastard? - Ghanamma.com\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:description\" content=\"Am I world\u2019s worst bastard? 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Dear Bunmi, I\u2019m in my 60s with three daughters and four grandchildren.\u00a0 I married my wife 42 years ago, but shortly before our 30th anniversary, I noticed subtle changes that became progressively worse. She was\u00a0\u00a0 diagnosed with Alzheimers, became increasingly irrational and was eventually admitted. 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