{"id":671390,"date":"2019-08-04T03:58:24","date_gmt":"2019-08-04T03:58:24","guid":{"rendered":"
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By Bunmi Sofola<\/h3>\n

Adult Kids: In a couple of months\u2019 time, Anita will turn 35. Not that she\u2019s looking for3ward to another landmark birthday. The day will also mark 30 years of living with her parents. According"},"modified":"2019-08-04T03:58:24","modified_gmt":"2019-08-04T03:58:24","slug":"adult-kids-parents-should-sympathise-with-children","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2019\/08\/04\/adult-kids-parents-should-sympathise-with-children\/","title":{"rendered":"Adult Kids: Parents should sympathise with children…"},"content":{"rendered":"

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By Bunmi Sofola<\/h3>\n

Adult Kids: In a couple of months\u2019 time, Anita will turn 35. Not that she\u2019s looking for3ward to another landmark birthday. The day will also mark 30 years of living with her parents. According to her: \u201cMore depressing is the fact that by the time you were my age, you were married, with maybe your own house or flat and two or three children. The fact I\u2019m still in my old room is probably as alarming to your readers as it is to me.<\/p>\n

\"Adult<\/p>\n

\u201cAt age 35, I\u2019m supposed to be married with my own place, updating Facebook with every key milestone. But it turns out a boyfriend (let alone a husband) is harder to find than a virgin in the care of the average priest at a vigil!\u00a0 Plus, a mid-twenties career change means I\u2019m happier, yet poorer than ever before.\u00a0 With the average price of a Lagos house or flat, and the average rent of a modest flat hitting the roof, it seems the only thing I\u2019ll be updating on Facebook is my parents\u2019 impatience to get rid of me!<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I\u2019m not alone, a lot of adults up to the age of 35 have experienced delays moving out of their parents\u2019 home. Society has even given us a fancy name: the `Clipped-wing generation\u2019 \u2013 coined from our inability to flay the nest. That is why I think it necessary for parents of other `homing pigeons\u2019 to establish some ground rules in order for a semblance of sanity to prevail. I understand parents `because I say so\u2019 mentality but with no sign of your `children\u2019 leaving, it\u2019s time you looked at our situation as more of democracy than dictatorship!<\/p>\n

\u201cFor instance, when your friends come round, please restrain from using our living situation as the subject of your banter.\u00a0 `I don\u2019t know when we\u2019ll ever get rid of her\u201d, we tried to kick her out but she came running back\u2019 etc. etc. Similarly, please don\u2019t always feel the need to explain to your friends why we\u2019re still living at home.\u00a0 `She had a bad beak-up\u2019 \/ `she\u2019s still single\u2019, `she doesn\u2019t earn enough money\u2019.\u00a0 Or, at the very least have this conversation when we aren\u2019t in the house.\u00a0 Forgive us if we can\u2019t see the funny side of our housing crisis, but living with your parents when you\u2019re a grown adult is sensitive subject.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt is bad enough that we\u2019re forced to justify our living situation to every Tom, Dick and Harry.\u00a0 Honestly, can you think of some new opening lines when you first meet someone that don\u2019t involve `where do you live?\u2019 and\/or `who do you live with?\u2019\u00a0 Home is supposed to be the one place where we\u2019re free from judgement and ridicule, so don\u2019t deflate our egos any more for the sake of new gossips with friends.<\/p>\n

READ ALSO: Ministerial list, a mockery of Buhari\u2019s anti-corruption war \u2013 Yakasai<\/span><\/h3>\n

\u201cIf we come home late, or don\u2019t come home at all, please don\u2019t always assume we\u2019re with a man. Unfortunately, dating in 2019 is not like dating way back in the `70s. When you give us that cheeky wink and ask if we\u2019re seeing someone special, it\u2019s much more likely that we actually spent the evening round our mate\u2019s place dismissing how old you have to be to be considered a spinster. And please keep doing that thing where you text us asking if we want dinner saved, that\u2019s really great. Honestly, when we go for a few after-work drinks and everyone else is heading to the dodgy fast-food rubbish, we rejoice in the fact we\u2019re heading home to a plate of home-made jolloff rice or ogbono soup. In return, we promise not to criticise your cooking.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you bump into your friend and she tells you about her daughter who just got engaged and bought her first flat, please don\u2019t feel the need to excitedly repeat this information to us.\u00a0 We get it, it gives you hope that you\u2019ll finally get to have an empty washing basket, but for us it\u2019s another reminder of our life-goal handicap. In exchange, we promise not to mention our posh friend who just moved into her flat courtesy of Bank of Mum And Dad. Deal?\u00a0 And talking of Bank Mum and Dad .. we promise not to abuse it and endeavour to pay our incredibly reasonably priced rent on time.\u00a0 Though you know that that handout you gave for our facial the day before payday that we said we\u2019d pay straight back!\u00a0 Yeah, it\u2019s unlikely you\u2019ll set that again. Sorry.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlthough we\u2019re living at home and enjoying our `extended adolescence\u2019, please don\u2019t assume we\u2019re halfwits.\u00a0 Yes, we do know how the gas cooker works. Thanks, we just couldn\u2019t be bothered with cooking for one. We know we\u2019re in the house, but if we wee in our own, we wouldn\u2019t have such strict cooking regime.\u00a0 To make up for our (at times) lax cleaning up routine, we promise to do our share of general cleaning. And please, please, don\u2019t worry about us. I know we said that we were only going for one drink after work, but that was before a colleague appeared with a couple of drinks under her arms to mark her birthday and we forgot we live in Lekki and not Festac like everyone else.\u00a0 Although we don\u2019t always act like it, we\u2019re full-grown adults, and while everyone else is checking their phones for a bit of nookie, we\u2019re replying to your: `Are you ok? Call me when you get this!\u2019 safety text.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen we come home and go straight to our room, please don\u2019t call us a moody teenager. First, our teen years are distant memories, and secondly, like you, we nee space every now and then.\u00a0 Our room is our only sanctum and sometimes we just want to sit there alone.\u00a0 It\u2019s like when Dad wants to watch Match of the Day and we leave him to it so he can watch the match he saw a few hours earlier \u2013 with another expert\u2019s opinion on the referee\u2019s verdict.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure when we finally move into our mould-ridden flat, we\u2019ll long for the times when we\u2019d open and front door to a barrage of questions about our day, but right now we want to be treated the way Dad is on a Saturday night.<\/p>\n

\u201cRemember we\u2019re grown adults and from time to time there will be adult `relations\u2019 maybe even full=blown relationships \u2026 yes, really.\u00a0 But if we do bring someone home, please don\u2019t make a massive deal about it.\u00a0 We know you\u2019re not running a brothel, but we weren\u2019t aware we were living in a nunnery either. What we\u2019re trying to say in a roundabout way is if we want to bring someone home, please be cool about it.\u00a0 You never know if that certain someone could be the answer to your freedom (it\u2019s unlikely, but still \u2026).<\/p>\n

What a dumb! (Humour)<\/strong><\/p>\n

A drunk staggers down the main street of a town and up the church steps. He manages to open the church door and falls into the silent building. On his hands and knees, he weeps as he struggles to pull himself to his feet, half crawling and half walking towards the front of the church. He crashes from pew to pew softly crying.\u00a0 \u201cOh God, help me, God help me\u201d until he finally makes it to the confessional box.<\/p>\n

Having observed the man\u2019s sorry progress the priest sits silently in the booth, waiting to hear the drunk\u2019s tale.\u00a0 He waits for several minutes, hearing the drunk moan and groan until finally there is a lengthy silence from the drunk\u2019s side of the confessional.\u00a0 At last the priest speaks: \u2018May I help you my son?\u2019, he says.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know father\u2019, the drunk replies.\u00a0 \u201cIt depends on whether or not you have any paper on your side\u201d.<\/p>\n

VANGUARD<\/p>\n

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