Everybody sort of froze for a while. Everyone knows \u2018Esther\u2019 is not my name. That it is the name of Franklyn\u2019s first wife. An embarrassed laugh erupted from a guest and Gift, my sister-in-law, quickly grabbed the chicken bowl and passed it on to her dad.\u00a0 Then Franklyn asked if anyone wanted more wine in rather a loud voice.\u00a0 I have known Franklyn and his family for more than eight years. It pains me to admit it, but such blunders \u2013 and hey happened more than once \u2013 still leave me feeling distressed.<\/p>\n
\u201cMaybe I should be more generous to Taleb who is just over 70 and can be forgetful.\u00a0 But we visit his house regularly and I help his wife with decorating the house from time to time. I also take him out to my doctor\u2019s once in a while, so the very least he can do is remember my name. Sadly, my name is not the name which passes my in-law\u2019s lips the most. It is Esther\u2019s.\u00a0 At that birthday, he was again the ghost at the table, warming her way into a family gathering at which she had no place.<\/p>\n
\u201cCan the ghost of a first wife ever be exorcised?\u00a0 When I first came across pictures of Franklyn and Esther together, my heart sank. Flicking through album after photo album I began to compare her relationship with Franklyn to mine. They were married for nine years and I wondered how I could possibly compete. As I flicked through, they went from boyfriend and girlfriend to happily married couple, before becoming the proud parents of a daughter, and then a son \u2013 both now in their 20s.\u00a0 To my envious eyes, they seemed the perfect family.<\/p>\n
\u201cI have never dared delve too far into the reasons why she and Franklyn split, but they got together when young and it seems they simply grew apart. It would give me a bit of smug victory is Esther was fat, frumpy and past her prime, but she isn\u2019t. Even though she was 15 years older than me, she\u2019s tall, carried her age well and is a university professor.\u00a0 She has also guarded her friendship with my husband\u2019s sister, Alice, staying in such contact with her that I could never hope to form my own bond.<\/p>\n
[READ ALSO] How I\u2019ve managed to strike balance between music and marriage \u2014 D\u2019banj<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd what does my dear husband have to say about it?\u00a0 Very little. Though I know I am the love of his life, he is reluctant to take his family to task over Esther and her seemingly privileged status.\u00a0 How does that make me feel?\u00a0 Disappointed and, once in a while, very nearly murderous!\u00a0 A couple of years ago, when my step-daughter graduated, she was all over the place. She made sure she sat everywhere my husband and I sat. Afterall, the graduand is her daughter!\u00a0 She was already seated when we arrived. As soon as we did, she shook my hand and kissed Franklyn on the cheek. It was embarrassing for me.<\/p>\n
\u201cAfter the ceremony, a heavy silence hung between my husband and I on our way home and it took until the next day for me to pluck up the courage to ask if he\u2019d known beforehand that Esther would be there. He said he\u2019d known nothing about it, and we later found out his parents did not tell us because they knew I wouldn\u2019t have gone.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo the next year, when her son graduated, I told Franklyn I wouldn\u2019t attend if Esther would be there, and I didn\u2019t.\u00a0 You see, it\u2019s not Esther\u2019s good looks or intellect that really irritates me. She has something I will never have. She gave given birth to and raised his children. And it\u2019s becoming increasingly clear to me that after years of fertility treatment, I might never have his child. My stepchildren, though lovely, are the product of their marriage. They mean my husband\u2019s life will forever be entwined with his ex-wife\u2019s. I look to the future, to weddings, christenings and grandchildren, and shrink with misery when I think how Esther will dominate them. Sadly, I have no alternative but to avoid them.<\/p>\n
\u201cI am constantly reminded of Esther\u2019s status as `mother\u2019 and `first wife\u2019 whenever my stepchildren come to stay. When they visit, their mother often phones. She sends cards and presents which the children must hand over to be passed on to their grandparents.\u00a0 Esther remarried several years after she split from Franklyn, but two years ago, her second husband left her. Guess who consoled her during this ordeal?\u00a0 My in-laws!<\/p>\n
\u201cWhile Franklyn sympathises, he tries to keep the peace., I sometimes asked how he would feel if my parents discussed my ex-husband in his company. His response is logical but cuts me to the quick.\u00a0 `Why would they talk about your ex?\u2019 he asks.\u00a0 `You don\u2019t have children so there\u2019s no reason for him to continue to play any part in your life\u2019. Slowly, I have come to realise that the ghost of my husband\u2019s oh-so-perfect first wife will not go away. I may resent and regret that fact, but I know she will be in my marriage for the rest of my life.\u00a0 I only hope we can survive her presence.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
Unpaid Labour! (Humour)<\/strong><\/p>\nA man arrived home from work to find absolute chaos. As he walked up to the garden path he fell over toys, strewn all over the ground and a broken bottle on the doorstep.\u00a0 Inside, the living room was in uproar. The two small children had up-ended the furniture and pushed over the television. The carpet had food all over it plus an overturned vase of flowers and spilt glasses of milk. The kitchen was even worse. Dirty fishes covered every work surface, the fridge had been left open so it had de-frosted and the cat was sitting on the table eating left-over food.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh no!\u201d he gasped. He was really worried that something had happened to his wife. He raced up the stairs two at a time and rushed into the bedroom.\u00a0 There, sitting up in bed was his wife, reading a book and eating chocolate.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u201d, he asked.\u00a0 I thought you must be ill\u201d.\u00a0 \u201cOh no\u201d, she replied, \u201cbut when you come in every day and ask me what I did \u2026 well today, I didn\u2019t\u201d.<\/p>\n
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Hit-and-run Monster?<\/strong><\/p>\nSeeing that the road was clear in both directions, the man began to cross on the zebra crossing. Suddenly, from out of the blue a car appeared from nowhere and knocked him to the ground. As it sped off, he heard a witch\u2019s cackle.<\/p>\n
The man picked himself up as a policeman rushed over to check that he was alright.\u00a0 \u201cCan you tell me anything about the incident?\u201d, he asked. \u201cDid you get a look at the driver?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cI didn\u2019t need to\u201d, he said wearily, \u201cit was my wife\u201d.\u00a0 \u201cBut how do\u00a0 you know?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019d know that chilling laugh anywhere\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
Related<\/em><\/h3>\n<\/p><\/div>\n
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