{"id":632773,"date":"2019-06-08T15:09:25","date_gmt":"2019-06-08T15:09:25","guid":{"rendered":"
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When words can\u2019t convey, let our actions speak.<\/strong><\/p>\n

In relationships,\u00a0we hurt one another.\u00a0Sometimes we do it on purpose, and sometimes we had no idea that we offended our partner.\u00a0Once we realize that we\u00a0inflicted pain on"},"modified":"2019-06-08T15:09:25","modified_gmt":"2019-06-08T15:09:25","slug":"ten-powerful-ways-to-apologize-when-youve-really-messed-things-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2019\/06\/08\/ten-powerful-ways-to-apologize-when-youve-really-messed-things-up\/","title":{"rendered":"Ten powerful ways to apologize when you’ve really messed things up"},"content":{"rendered":"

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When words can\u2019t convey, let our actions speak.<\/strong><\/p>\n

In relationships,\u00a0we hurt one another.\u00a0Sometimes we do it on purpose, and sometimes we had no idea that we offended our partner.\u00a0Once we realize that we\u00a0inflicted pain on them, whether we intend to or not,\u00a0the correct thing to do is to say, \u201cI\u2019m sorry\u201d\u00a0and repair the damage.<\/p>\n

But many of us don\u2019t quite understand\u00a0how to apologize, as it can feel\u00a0extremely difficult, if not impossible.\u00a0Saying, \u201cI\u2019m sorry\u201d\u00a0is hard. It makes us feel vulnerable and, in general, is a very challenging enterprise.<\/p>\n

Before we offer an apology of any kind, we must prepare ourselves\u00a0for either no response or a wide range of responses from the other person (including negative\u00a0ones).\u00a0Depending on the degree or nature of the hurt, it may take your partner awhile to accept your attempt at repairing the relationship. But if you\u2019re truly sorry, be\u00a0prepared for forgiveness\u00a0to take some time.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re unsure how to say, \u201cI\u2019m sorry\u201d and apologize in a way that conveys your sincerity, here are 10 powerful ways to do so:<\/p>\n

1. Say it with words<\/strong><\/p>\n

Say the actual words \u201cI\u2019m so sorry\u201d\u00a0and then add exactly what you are sorry for.\u00a0Let your spouse know that you\u2019re aware of the\u00a0actions and\u00a0words that caused the hurt. Name your crime specifically when you say, \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

2. Say it with a look<\/strong><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t fake remorse\u00a0because doing so will\u00a0likely do more damage.\u00a0When you apologize,\u00a0make sure you have\u00a0a genuine look on your face that you really are sorry.<\/p>\n

Saying the words but having a smirk,\u00a0grin, air of indifference, or some other expression will tell your partner that you are\u00a0trying to say the right thing, but you don\u2019t mean it.<\/p>\n

3. Say it with a touch<\/strong><\/p>\n

When you know that your partner is ready to hear the words \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d\u00a0add a soft and gentle touch.\u00a0Do NOT\u00a0use a sexual touch, but, rather, a touch that communicates \u201cI care about you, and I want you to be okay.\u201d<\/p>\n

4. Say it with a note<\/strong><\/p>\n

Struggle to say the right words? Try writing\u00a0a note that expresses how you feel about what happened. Convey\u00a0that you\u2019re sorry, and also add a little about how you think your actions may have made your spouse feel.<\/p>\n

Let her\/him know that even if it takes some time,\u00a0you want their forgiveness.\u00a0Avoid trying to explain why it happened, as\u00a0that may only do more damage \u2014 save that for a later time.<\/p>\n

5. Say it with a gift<\/strong><\/p>\n

A small gift or token can help repair the damage that was done.\u00a0You can give this gift with a\u00a0note or when you actually say the words, \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

Be careful not to overuse this method of making amends, however. You don\u2019t want your partner to think you believe you can buy her\/him off with a gift and then repeat your offensive behavior again later.<\/p>\n

6. Say it with emotion<\/strong><\/p>\n

When a woman feels\u00a0hurt, the emotions associated with that hurt get attached to the memory of that event.\u00a0When something reminds her of the event, the hurt has a way of returning full force, as if the event just happened again.\u00a0When you say, \u201cI\u2019m sorry\u201d\u00a0to her, try to do so in a way that has some emotion attached to it.<\/p>\n

Note: Using humor is not always a good choice here.\u00a0She needs to see in your face and hear in your voice (as well as through your\u00a0words) that you fully understand that you hurt her, you take responsibility for it, and your hope is that you can repair the damage you\u2019ve done.<\/p>\n