{"id":611005,"date":"2019-04-28T15:31:26","date_gmt":"2019-04-28T15:31:26","guid":{"rendered":"
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\n\"Right\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

If you\u2019ve been wondering; \u201cShould I get a divorce?\u201d there\u2019s a few things you should know that will help you determine if you can save your unhappy marriage.<\/p>\n

From bliss to boredom,\u00a0from soaring hopes and dreams to wondering why you ever got married. You may be asking yourself, \u201cWhy am I so unhappy?<\/p>\n

Is my marriage over? Should I get a divorce?\u201d You may even have one foot out the door.<\/p>\n

Plenty of couples stay in marriages that look miserable from both the inside and the outside.<\/p>\n

1. Passion<\/strong><\/p>\n

Thank you, Mother Nature, for providing all those juicy hormones that magnetize couples and set the stage for the\u00a0survival of the species!<\/p>\n

2. Realization<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat? She\u2019s not always in makeup? He really does watch football all day on Sunday? And when did my partner suddenly lose interest in all the amazing, thought-provoking things I have to say?\u201d<\/p>\n

This stage is a tough one. It\u2019s also inevitable. This is the point where you get a real awakening to your partner\u2019s humanness and what that altar-commitment meant.<\/p>\n

3. Rebellion<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ahh, the drama of it all! Suddenly all those self-interests come back into view, and you\u2019re often individually pitted against the needs and interests of the marriage.<\/p>\n

This is when\u00a0how\u00a0issues are discussed is more important than\u00a0what\u00a0issues are discussed.<\/p>\n

4. Cooperation<\/strong><\/p>\n

Remember that big dream of the mansion filled with pitter-pattering feet and countless Ivy League-bound activities?<\/p>\n

Well, somebody has to pay for all that. And somebody has to change the diapers and drive the bus.<\/p>\n

Inevitably the complexities of marriage force you into management-mode. Business as usual. The marriage can wait.<\/p>\n

5. Reunion<\/strong><\/p>\n

Those tears at college orientation may have to do with more than just missing the kids.<\/p>\n

All those years of \u201cgetting them to this point\u201d\u00a0come rushing into this one moment of the stark reality: Your nest is empty, and your marriage feels that way, too.<\/p>\n

Time to focus on that stranger who is driving home with you.<\/p>\n

6. Explosion<\/strong><\/p>\n

This stage can happen at any time but makes a big presence during mid-life.<\/p>\n

All the mishaps of life seem to be accelerating \u2014 job loss, forced retirement, illness, eldercare, etc.<\/p>\n

7. Completion<\/strong><\/p>\n

This is the hard-won stage that makes it all worthwhile.<\/p>\n

You know yourself well, you know your spouse well, and you both feel the youngsters inside of you coming out to play again.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s as if life has come full circle, but with a history of struggles that enriches the final stage.<\/p>\n

You knew your marriage would go through various stages. You\u2019ve watched family and friends navigate them all.<\/p>\n

But it\u2019s different when you\u2019re actually\u00a0in\u00a0them. Your heart may say one thing, while your head caters to resignation and asks, \u201cWhy stay in an unhappy marriage? Surely I could be happier alone or with someone else.\u201d<\/p>\n

Research by psychiatrist Levi Baker and his colleagues\u00a0found that for\u00a0couples who stick it out, their commitment isn\u2019t based on their current level of satisfaction.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s based on their\u00a0expected\u00a0level of relationship satisfaction\u00a0in the future.<\/p>\n

The only time current satisfaction is a predictor of commitment is when\u00a0both\u00a0partners expect their relationship to continue being satisfying. (\u201cDon\u2019t rock the boat, and we\u2019ll be fine.\u201d)<\/p>\n

In other words, the reason couples are willing to stay together, despite current unhappiness, is that\u00a0they believe things will get better.<\/p>\n

Their commitment is the quintessential example of delayed gratification.<\/p>\n

Their current level of satisfaction, while not an indication of their commitment, does serve to provide information about problems that need to be addressed.<\/p>\n

Contrary to an unhealthy marriage, an unhappy marriage can be bolstered by the determination of the couple.<\/p>\n

Something as simple as deciding to go to\u00a0couples therapy\u00a0can boost the very\u00a0expectation\u00a0for a happier marriage\u00a0in the future.<\/p>\n

In this way, the very unhappiness that makes\u00a0marriage seem disappointing and even hopeless can be the threshold to the marriage\u2019s renewal.<\/p>\n

The couple that truly means \u201c\u2018til death do us part\u201d\u00a0just may be more motivated to make that marathon a pleasant one.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0628 \u0648\u0631\u062f\u067e\u0631\u0633<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

File photo: Wedding Rings If you\u2019ve been wondering; \u201cShould I get a divorce?\u201d there\u2019s a few things you should know that will help you determine if you can save your unhappy marriage. From bliss to boredom,\u00a0from soaring hopes and dreams to wondering why you ever got married. You may be asking yourself, \u201cWhy am I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":611006,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-611005","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-lifestyle"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to tell if you should get a divorce or save a marriage - Ghanamma.com<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2019\/04\/28\/how-to-tell-if-you-should-get-a-divorce-or-save-a-marriage\/\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:title\" content=\"How to tell if you should get a divorce or save a marriage - Ghanamma.com\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:description\" content=\"File photo: Wedding Rings If you\u2019ve been wondering; \u201cShould I get a divorce?\u201d there\u2019s a few things you should know that will help you determine if you can save your unhappy marriage. 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