{"id":610759,"date":"2019-04-27T14:05:22","date_gmt":"2019-04-27T14:05:22","guid":{"rendered":"
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How to start attracting good guys, instead of emotionally unavailable men.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Why is it that every man you meet seems to be emotionally unavailable? How is that even possible? And where have all the good guys gone?<\/p>\n

If you appear to be a veritable magnet for this kind of emotionally distant man, it\u2019s probably starting to really bug you and get you down.<\/p>\n

There are several dating common mistakes women make that cause them to keep attracting emotionally unavailable men. So if you want to break the cycle and start learning how to attract good guys instead, these dating tips can help you avoid another emotionally detached, toxic relationship.<\/p>\n

After all, the faster you know who you\u2019re dealing with, the faster you can drop a guy who\u2019s emotionally unavailable and move on.<\/p>\n

Here are 6 reasons why you keep attracting emotionally unavailable men instead of good guys, and how to keep it from happening again:<\/strong><\/p>\n

1. You mistake his attraction to you for wanting a relationship.<\/strong><\/p>\n

You\u2019re no fool and can tell when a man is clearly attracted to you. That\u2019s not the problem. The truth is his attraction has nothing to do with wanting a relationship with you.<\/p>\n

Men completely separate sex and relationships and are pros at sleeping with you without any attachment or feelings. You know this, right?<\/p>\n

So why do you immediately assume that his attraction is proof he\u2019s seriously interested in dating you? Yes, he might take you on a couple of dates, but that still doesn\u2019t mean he wants a lasting relationship. What it does mean is he wants to hop in the sack with you and nothing more.<\/p>\n

What does this mean if you frequently mistake his attraction for his desire for a relationship? You\u2019ll be heartbroken repeatedly.<\/p>\n

What can you do?<\/p>\n

Stop assuming these two things are in any way related. They are not.<\/p>\n

For most men, attraction does not leap ahead to love and relationship. Only women think like that.<\/p>\n

2. You accept when he says one thing and does another<\/strong><\/p>\n

You\u2019re seeing this guy and he says all the right things. It\u2019s pretty amazing. You\u2019ve longed to hear a man tell you how wonderful you are, how beautiful and smart. He just knows what to say that makes you feel great.<\/p>\n

Funny thing though, he doesn\u2019t have time to see you. If you\u2019re dating a man who talks about getting together but rarely sets a date or cancels often, he\u2019s not into you. When it comes to understanding men, what matters most is what he does to spend time with you. If he\u2019s all talk and no action, it means he\u2019s not attached to you and is emotionally unavailable.<\/p>\n

It also means he\u2019s keeping you on the hook in case he wants a little loving.<\/p>\n

3. You become attached, even though he said he\u2019s not ready for a relationship.<\/strong><\/p>\n

One of the biggest, easiest telltale signs of the emotionally unavailable man is he comes right out and tells you.\u00a0\u201cI\u2019m not looking for a relationship. I\u2019m not ready for a relationship. I just got out of a relationship and need space.\u201d<\/em>\u00a0What trips up a lot of single gals is that he\u2019ll add this to the end of the sentence:\u00a0\u201cBut let\u2019s see what happens.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Many women thought this was perfectly fine because they think they don\u2019t know what they want, either. But It\u2019s not true! You know you don\u2019t want a casual relationship based on sex, but you fall for this hook, line, and sinker anyway.<\/p>\n

You\u2018re not sure he\u2019s the one; you just met. But you figure,\u00a0\u201cWe\u2019ll see,\u201d<\/em>\u00a0means you\u2019ll both watch how things develop and that it could lead to a relationship. That is\u00a0wrong<\/em>, and it never works.<\/p>\n

When a man comes right out and tells you he doesn\u2019t want a relationship, that\u2019s a man being honest and upfront! That\u2019s not a \u201cwe\u2019ll see\u201d sort of thing because he knows what he wants and a relationship is\u00a0not<\/em>\u00a0it. Don\u2019t listen to all the sweet talk, which is usually manipulative. When he says anything to push you away, including his admission of pursuing a physical relationship only, pay attention!<\/p>\n

4. You mistake his lack of effort for spontaneity<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sometimes women are so anxious to get a relationship going with a man they think is a great catch that they accept the crumbs he offers. Coffee on a weekend during the day. A rare date on a weeknight. Late night calls and asking to come over to talk.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not that he\u2019s too busy or not a good planner; he simply doesn\u2019t respect you enough to treat you the way you deserve. He\u2019s not that interested in you, but you help him get his needs met, anyway. You\u2019re sweet, or thoughtful, do so much for him, or always drop what you are doing to make yourself available in his moment of need.<\/p>\n

Once you let him know you\u2019ll take whatever you can get of him, he\u2019ll never put forth any effort again. You think you\u2019re being patient, understanding, and nice while he \u201cgets his act together,\u201d but really, you\u2019re being a doormat for this crummy guy. That\u2019s no way to get what you want from him \u2014 a relationship.<\/p>\n

He\u2019ll be sweet to smooth things over if you complain, and you\u2019ll believe him. But he\u2019s just like all the other emotionally unavailable men. Happy to take what you\u2019ll give.<\/p>\n

He doesn\u2019t need to earn you as his woman and so over time, he just loses all interest. You\u2019re not exciting or a challenge for him at that point.<\/p>\n

5. You think you can \u201cfix\u201d his problems and make him a loving partner.<\/strong><\/p>\n

There are certain women who love a good project. Or they like to help the underdog. But do emotionally unavailable men change?<\/p>\n

You find a man like this who appeals to you and looks like a great catch and you think,\u00a0\u201cI can fix this.\u201d<\/em>\u00a0No, you\u00a0can\u2019t<\/em>. The only person who can fix being emotionally unavailable is the man himself.<\/p>\n

Did you ever hear the therapy joke about a light bulb? Here\u2019s how it goes: \u201cHow many therapists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but the light bulb has to want to change.\u201d<\/p>\n

That\u2019s right; that great guy who\u2019s like all the other emotionally unavailable men has to\u00a0want<\/em>\u00a0to change and then\u00a0he<\/em>\u00a0has to make the change. You can\u2019t help him do it.<\/p>\n

What do you need some broken guy for, anyway? You don\u2019t! You want a man who is relationship ready right now, not someday in the future.<\/p>\n

A project guy might sound like fun if you like to fix things. But he\u2019ll break your heart for one of two reasons:<\/p>\n

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  1. He tries, but never changes no matter how much you help him and you finally give up.<\/li>\n
  2. He goes to therapy and makes the change with your support. Then he dumps you and marries the next woman.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    I know you\u2019ve heard this story many times about the super supportive woman who gets left behind. Don\u2019t do this to yourself. You deserve love with a healthy and available man!<\/p>\n

    6. You gloss over major warning signs because you want a relationship<\/strong><\/p>\n

    There are a number of other signs the man you\u2019re seeing could be emotionally unavailable that you\u2019re ignoring. These include:<\/p>\n