Who would have known that social media would take over like it has, even in your relationship.
It’s not going away anytime soon. So, this means you need to get used
to it. But, I’ve always felt if you don’t want people to know something
about you, then don’t post it on social media.
Does social media damage your relationship?
Sounds simple, but you know that is not always the case.
I hear this a lot.
Someone posted something. You thought it was harmless, but then your
partner’s feelings were hurt. If this keeps happening, it will drive a
wedge in the relationship.
When you’re in a relationship, you also want to be careful about
playing the comparison game on social media. People post their best side
first on social media. You may feel like all of your friends and family
on social media have amazing lives and healthy relationships.
That is not always the case. Just as you don’t post about what’s
going wrong in your life or any relationship problems you’re going
through, neither do your friends and family.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think social media sites and social
networks are a bad thing. But, you shouldn’t take it too seriously. If
you are playing the comparison game, you will never win. This will leave
you feeling depleted and empty.
Here are 6 things you shouldn’t do on social media, if you don’t want to damage your relationship.
1. You don’t want to overshare
A lot of people want to share the good times in their life on social
media. This can be fine, most of the time. But, some people may see this
as self-indulgent or tacky. Also, some people like to share more than
This is a good time to have a conversation with your partner about
social media. Your partner may not be as excited to share on social
media as you are. Or, only want certain things shared.
It’s alright to have differences about wanting to share on social
media. It’s important to work on a compromise that you both agree on.
This way no one gets their feelings hurt.
2. Couples check social media instead of checking in with one another
This will cause your partner to feel neglected because you are
spending time on social media when you are spending time together.
I can’t count the many times I go out to a restaurant and I see the
couple next to me on their phones. They are out on a date. They should
be talking to one another.
To be in a healthy relationship, I encourage couples to use “I”
statements when this happens. Let your partner know how you are feeling.
3. Don’t continue to interact with your ex on social media
This can drive a wedge in your relationship. Photos of your ex are
out there, and they are likely to pop up again on social media. Make
sure your partner knows that you don’t have feelings for your ex
Also, you don’t need to comment on posts that your ex makes. This can
cause jealousy. Most likely, you have friends that your ex is friends
Make sure that you and your partner have clear rules as to how you
handle your ex on social media. This will help create safety in the
4. Social media can cause major misunderstandings
In days where social media rules, it can be anyone’s game. You may see a post from a friend that has your partner in it.
You thought he was at work that day, turns out he wasn’t. Not only
can this cause problems with your partner, it can cause problems with
5. Checking social media before bed can put a damper on intimacy and affect sleep
If you are checking social media before bed, your partner will begin
to feel neglected. Let’s face it, social media can be addictive. The
next thing you know an hour has gone by. Your partner has given up and
gone to bed.
Not only can this damper your sex life it can affect your sleep.
I always tell clients not to go on social media or take part in
screen time an hour before bed. The brain is a muscle and needs time to
cool down. When you are on social media, you are just keeping your brain
6. Don’t use social media to cover up uncertainty in your relationship
Sure, everyone wants to be in a perfect relationship. But, in reality, there is no perfect relationship.
When you post pictures that make you look perfect, you will begin to
feel a lot of pressure. You are trying to live up to something that
doesn’t exist. Not only does it not exist for you, but it also doesn’t
exist for anyone.
Let’s face it, all relationships go through highs and lows. If you
are with a partner who makes you feel like you need to be perfect, then
you are with the wrong partner.
It’s important to remember that you can’t keep a secret on social
media. Whatever you post will be seen by a lot of people. This means you
need to be selective about what you post.
If you are having problems on social media about your relationship, then this could mean you have underlying problems. It’s important to talk to your partner about this. This may sound impossible, but if handled gently it can be done.