File Photo<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n I was twenty-four years when Charles and his family came home to see my parent and asked for my hand in marriage. I\u2019d dated Charles for over two years and throughout the years that we were together my parents were aware and his parents knew me very well.<\/p>\n
It was a fun and happy day when both families met to discuss the arrangements for the marriage and also to get the marriage list.<\/p>\n
My dad presented the marriage list in a sealed envelope to Charles and the family and later dispersed. Honestly, I didn\u2019t know what was on the list. My parent didn\u2019t discuss it with me and I didn\u2019t bother a lot about it because I knew Charles would let me know what it entailed.<\/p>\n
The night after the visit, Charles called me and I could sense the anger in his voice. His anger was about the items on the list. I rushed to see him that night and I was awed. I was actually sad to see the things my parent have listed as the bride price.<\/p>\n
Among other things, they wanted a brand new taxi, a 48-inch flat screen TV, 15 pieces of Kente cloth and a plot of land somewhere in Kumasi. Charles was so angry that he was visibly shaking. I tried calming him down and asked him to leave everything for me to handle.<\/p>\n
I rushed home and called my parent for a discussion. Dad got angry when I broached the topic; \u201cWho are you to ask us to reduce what we\u2019ve carefully selected as your bride price? If you want your husband to respect and treasure you in the marriage, then keep quiet and allow him to get those things for us.\u201d<\/p>\n
He walked over me and entered his room and his wife also followed. I was devastated and started crying. The next day, I called our pastor in to intervene. That didn\u2019t work. My dad got angrier and accused me of taking family issues outside. I became frustrated as the days went by without getting my parent to change their mind. Charles was determined to wait for me as I tried working things out. My parent refused to shift grounds.<\/p>\n
Four months later, Charles had to leave me. He told me; \u201cTricia, it doesn\u2019t make sense. Even if I could afford to get those things on the list, it still doesn\u2019t make any sense for your parent to request things of such nature. Are they trying to sell you to me?\u201d I asked for more time from Charles. I pleaded with him to give me more time to make things right but he thought he had been patient enough. He was right. He had been patient but all I was wishing for was more time.<\/p>\n
I didn\u2019t even know what I was going to do next to get them to change their mind about the list but somewhere I hoped more time would help to sway their mind. It didn\u2019t work. Charles left me. The story of my marriage list spread in the church like a wildfire. It became the gossips\u2019 topic. Men avoided me as if I was some plague waiting to infest them.<\/p>\n
For four years I never had a boyfriend. Within those four years, my three close friends got married and one even had a child. I became very miserable and got scared anytime I thought of my future. I was growing. What if I hit the dreaded thirty without even a boyfriend? At 29, Randy came along. Randy was swift, clever and knew what he wanted right from the start.<\/p>\n
He didn\u2019t come with the intention to marry me. When I asked him what he needed from the relationship he said; \u201c I\u2019m not looking for anything extraordinary. Just a friend I could call a girlfriend.\u201d Honestly, I didn\u2019t understand what he meant but there was something I liked about him. He was defiant and had an anger for things that don\u2019t make sense. I called that a \u201cserene anger.\u201d<\/p>\n
He doesn\u2019t fight or throw tantrums when he was angry. He\u2019ll just move on and do what makes him happy. His sense of humor is unmatched. When I told him about the marriage list and why Charles didn\u2019t marry me, he said; \u201cYour dad is clever.<\/p>\n
If he demanded anything less, I wouldn\u2019t have met you.\u201d Crazy head Randy. A year into our relationship, that was September 2013, Randy suggested we got married in the next coming year. I should have been happier but I was scared. The story of Charles and me started playing out all over again.<\/p>\n
I went home, told my parent what Randy had told me and asked them to prepare the marriage list for me to vet before Randy comes to see them. My dad again flared up; \u201cYou think you are sensible than both of us? We are trying to get the best for you and you are here talking about vetting? How are you sure he could take care of you if he couldn\u2019t afford what is on the list?\u201d<\/p>\n
He didn\u2019t show me the list. As the day approached for Randy and the family to come over, I got scared and agitated. \u201cWhat if this man does what he did the last time?\u201d \u201cWhat if Randy leaves me too?\u201d \u201cWhat if\u2026.\u201d The day finally arrived. Randy came with his mum and his uncle. After everything was said and done, my dad gave them the list in a sealed envelope and he said; \u201cI hope you don\u2019t get discouraged. My daughter is a good girl. I raised her very well and she deserves all the honour you could afford through fulfilling what\u2019s on the list given you.\u201d<\/p>\n
I left with Randy and the family. I couldn\u2019t wait to see what was on the list. He flipped the envelope open in the car as we were going home and guess what, everything was just as the one he gave to Charles except this time it\u2019s 20 kente cloth instead of 15. Randy laughed and said; \u201cObviously your dad doesn\u2019t want you to marry but let\u2019s surprise him.\u201d<\/p>\n
Randy gave my dad a call the next morning trying to negotiate the list. My dad insisted he couldn\u2019t do anything about it. That was the last time Randy spoke to my dad. I spoke to my mum\u2019s siblings and some siblings of my dad who had opposed my dad\u2019s standpoint all along and they accepted to stand in for me as my parent. I didn\u2019t care again. I didn\u2019t say anything again to my parent. I left the house and stayed with a friend.<\/p>\n
On May 3rd, 2014, we got married. On May 5th, 2014, we went to the Metropolitan Assembly, signed the legal documents and became legally married under the ordinance. The next day, I called my dad to tell him I was married. He didn\u2019t pick my calls. I called my mum who picked. She couldn\u2019t say a word but cried throughout the conversation. My dad told some family members that I\u2019ve dishonoured him and as such, he had disowned me. He told them I shouldn\u2019t attend his funeral when he dies.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve tried several times to reach out to him through different means and through different people but he wouldn\u2019t see me. Mom occasionally talked to me and told me how my dad was faring. Seven months into our marriage, I and my husband left Ghana to settle in Canada and we\u2019ve been here since. Dad doesn\u2019t talk to me still. Mom talks to me but she wouldn\u2019t accept anything from me. She doesn\u2019t want to disrespect his husband, which I understand. I\u2019ve been happily married and I\u2019m glad anytime I get to know my parents are in good health. I only hope someday Dad would understand and forgive me.<\/p>\n
Patricia Ewudzi Ampong (Mrs.)| Patricia is a healthcare professional who lives in Canada with the husband<\/b><\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
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\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0628 \u0648\u0631\u062f\u067e\u0631\u0633<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Entertainment of Monday, 18 December 2017 Source: Patricia Ewudzi Ampong 2017-12-18 File Photo I was twenty-four years when Charles and his family came home to see my parent and asked for my hand in marriage. I\u2019d dated Charles for over two years and throughout the years that we were together my parents were aware and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":409440,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-448041","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-entertainment"],"yoast_head":"\n
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