{"id":438956,"date":"2017-11-20T06:00:29","date_gmt":"2017-11-20T06:00:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ghana-mma.com\/2017\/11\/20\/lifestyle-8-mistakes-women-make-with-men\/"},"modified":"2017-11-20T06:00:29","modified_gmt":"2017-11-20T06:00:29","slug":"lifestyle-8-mistakes-women-make-with-men","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2017\/11\/20\/lifestyle-8-mistakes-women-make-with-men\/","title":{"rendered":"Lifestyle: 8 mistakes women make with men"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Entertainment of Monday, 20 November 2017<\/p>\n

Source: <\/strong>Chantel Netimah<\/p>\n

2017-11-20<\/p>\n

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\"WomenKeep it real. You can\u2019t change a man who doesn\u2019t want to change for himself<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/b>We Fall In Love With Potential <\/p>\n

I cannot possibly be the only one who has made this mistake. Often times we know this person isn\u2019t good for us, but we sometimes suffer from the \u2018I Can Change Him\u2019 syndrome, so we focus on what he could be. If only he was X, Y, and Z. The fantasy may be lovely, but you have to keep your head in the here and now. You could derail a relationship if you don\u2019t keep your head and feet firmly in reality.<\/p>\n

Keep it real. You can\u2019t change a man who doesn\u2019t want to change for himself; this means that you would keep holding on to fragments of him and working extra hard at the relationship and just be miserable the whole time. He would probably leave anyway, and next thing you know he is marrying someone else who either likes him the way he. The person has decided he\u2019s good and ready to be the best man he can be, and you wonder where you went wrong. STOP HOLDING ON TO POTENTIAL (yes, I am shouting)<\/p>\n

<\/b>Mistaking Lust for Love<\/p>\n

You see that butterfly feeling you have in your tummy when you first meet them? Ermmm that\u2019s not love, that\u2019s common sense leaving your brain. You have seen fine man and you don\u2019t have sense again. We often mistake a strong attraction with a guy as connection. It is not the same.<\/p>\n

Sexual attraction is not love, it is not like. Aunty it is what it is: SEXUAL ATTRACTION. Now what you want to do with it is up to you. You\u2019re an adult, but just don\u2019t go crying to your friends \u2018I gave him my body soul and mind\u2019 \u2018he used me\u2019 (I\u2019m laughing at all these and rolling my eyes because I\u2019ve heard them a lot of times and it\u2019s funny)<\/p>\n

<\/b>Women Who Talk Too Much Syndrome<\/b> <\/p>\n

I am guilty of this. There is nothing wrong with communication. But is verbalising every feeling, mood, and annoyance communication? Communication: \u2018the exchange of thoughts, messages, or information, as by speech, signals, writing or behaviour\u2019<\/p>\n

Now let\u2019s take note that the key word here is \u2018exchange\u2019. So, if all you are doing is off-loading so they can \u2018listen\u2019; then we certainly have a one-way ticket to relationship doom. Not only is the relationship an equivalent of verbal diarrhoea, but I think it drives men insane, when we feel the need to talk all the time. Look, before you had a man you had friends, right? (hopefully you haven\u2019t abandoned them cause of man. If you have, shame on you) Talk to your friends, but keep the private things for your man. DO NOT DISCUSS EVERY DETAIL OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR FRIENDS. IT IS NOT THEIR BUSINESS.<\/p>\n

<\/b>We Think Sex Can Hold Them<\/b> <\/p>\n

Having sex with a man would not keep him in the relationship. Being open to trying all kinds of sex tricks in the book won\u2019t keep him. If you like, swing from a chandelier during sex; it still won\u2019t keep him if he doesn\u2019t want to be there. Yes, men do often think with their dicks, but don\u2019t make the mistake of thinking that catering to the dick would fix the woes. IT WON\u2019T. Being great at sex won\u2019t make a great relationship; it only makes it great sex and if he feels that something is missing whether right or wrong, he won\u2019t graduate you from casual sex to girlfriend position.<\/p>\n

Yes, we all want a man who knows what he wants but sometimes, we want to settle too quickly and can be subtle or too obvious about it. You want to start playing wife when you haven\u2019t even reached girlfriend. Stop making something even before there is something. One day the man would wake up see all your tampons and pads, hair straighteners, wigs and fear would grip him (why? Because he is about to lose his freedom and he isn\u2019t sure he is ready just yet) and he would go cold on you. Try not to need a man so desperately to feel secure and happy. Find it on your own first. We need to slow down a little and not force the hand of relationships.<\/p>\n

<\/b>Placing Everything On Them<\/p>\n

There was a time in your life when the current guy didn\u2019t exist and you were still alive but suddenly he appears and you have turned him to the reason why you are breathing and living, and suddenly can\u2019t function without him. Suddenly he is paying all your bills and sorting out all your family problems and catering to your every need and you\u2019re not bothering with your friends anymore or doing anything for yourself. You\u2019re a person with some level of independence, don\u2019t ditch it because you have a man now.<\/p>\n

<\/b>We \u2018Allow\u2019 Too Much<\/p>\n

As women we have the tendency of allowing too much of the wrong things. We\u2019ll allow a guy to be unavailable, \u2018too busy\u2019 to communicate or mistreat us because he\u2019s got a dick, money, or because we don\u2019t feel secure enough to tell him to get lost, but we won\u2019t allow a guy past the gates if he\u2019s \u2018too nice\u2019. Ever heard a girl tell you \u2018I broke up with him because he is too nice\u2019? I always respond with \u2018common sense is not common\u2019<\/p>\n

<\/b>We Love Them More Than We Love Ourselves<\/p>\n

If you don\u2019t love yourself, how do you expect a man to love you? When you allow a man be the reason for your happiness and complete you, it implies that you\u2019re miserable and incomplete without him. Don\u2019t focus your energy on dubious relationships and neglecting yourself, friends and family because these species call men show you small love.<\/p>\n

<\/b>We Don\u2019t Know When To Quit<\/p>\n

Look, nobody enjoys breakups, but men in particular don\u2019t like confrontation with women. This means they would ride the donkey (the relationship) until it collapses, whilst privately feeling very aggrieved to be \u2018trapped\u2019. Sometimes the fear of being on our own is even greater than the fear of not having a man in our life, even if he mistreats us, doesn\u2019t actually want to be with us. We make noise about calling it off if he doesn\u2019t do certain things, but we often don\u2019t, giving the guy carte blanche to do what he likes. He does lose respect when he knows he can do whatever he likes and you won\u2019t say anything.<\/p>\n

Does any of this sound like someone you know? We have all being there at some point in our lives.<\/p>\n

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Entertainment of Monday, 20 November 2017 Source: Chantel Netimah 2017-11-20 Keep it real. You can\u2019t change a man who doesn\u2019t want to change for himself We Fall In Love With Potential I cannot possibly be the only one who has made this mistake. Often times we know this person isn\u2019t good for us, but we […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":438957,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-438956","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-entertainment"],"yoast_head":"\nLifestyle: 8 mistakes women make with men - Ghanamma.com<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2017\/11\/20\/lifestyle-8-mistakes-women-make-with-men\/\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:title\" content=\"Lifestyle: 8 mistakes women make with men - Ghanamma.com\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:description\" content=\"Entertainment of Monday, 20 November 2017 Source: Chantel Netimah 2017-11-20 Keep it real. 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