{"id":425592,"date":"2017-10-05T14:30:31","date_gmt":"2017-10-05T14:30:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ghana-mma.com\/2017\/10\/05\/lifestyle-6-signs-your-expectations-of-a-partner-are-set-too-high\/"},"modified":"2017-10-05T14:30:31","modified_gmt":"2017-10-05T14:30:31","slug":"lifestyle-6-signs-your-expectations-of-a-partner-are-set-too-high","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2017\/10\/05\/lifestyle-6-signs-your-expectations-of-a-partner-are-set-too-high\/","title":{"rendered":"Lifestyle: 6 Signs your expectations of a partner are set too high"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><\/p>\n<div id=\"medsection1\">\n<!-- End of html generated by this->header() --><\/p>\n<p class=\"floatLeft\">Entertainment of Thursday,  5 October 2017<\/p>\n<p class=\"floatRight\"><strong>Source: <\/strong>huffingtonpost.com<\/p>\n<p>2017-10-05<\/p>\n<div class=\"article-left\">\n<p class=\"article-image\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/ghanamma.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/91568085.295.jpg\" alt=\"Expa6\" title=\"Expa6\" width=\"295\" height=\"215\" \/><span class=\"image_caption\"><span>File photo<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"noPrint\">\n<div id=\"537626303\" style=\"width:300;height:250;margin:0;padding:0\">\n\t\t  <noscript><iframe loading=\"lazy\" id=\"b2ad7fa7fd\" name=\"b2ad7fa7fd\" src=\"http:\/\/ghanaweb-d.openx.net\/w\/1.0\/afr?auid=537626303&amp;cb=149916385179598\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" width=\"300\" height=\"250\"><a href=\"\/\/ghanaweb-d.openx.net\/w\/1.0\/rc?cs=b2ad7fa7fd&amp;cb=149916385179598\">&#13;<br \/>\n\t\t  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/ghanamma.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/1507213831_111_ai\" border=\"0\" alt=\"\" \/><\/a><\/iframe><\/noscript>\n\t\t<\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p style=\"clear:right\">At the beginning of a new relationship, you\u2019ll be forgiven for seeing everything through rose-tinted glasses &#8211; dreaming about your future together is part and parcel of the honeymoon period.<\/p>\n<p>But once the lustful haze has worn off, you\u2019ll realise your once perfect human being is also prone to their fair share of imperfections. Sorry, guys.<\/p>\n<p>This disconnect between your hopes and reality may be difficult to get your head around, but that doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s all over.<\/p>\n<p>Social psychology professor, Eli Finkel, from Northwestern University, Illinois, who has just written a new book, The All-or-Nothing Marriage, on the topic, told The Atlantic that in modern relationships we are overly idealistic and expect too much from our partners, which means we can never be truly fulfilled.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe main change has been that we\u2019ve added, on top of the expectation that we\u2019re going to love and cherish our spouse, the expectation that our spouse will help us grow, help us become a better version of ourselves, a more authentic version of ourselves,\u201d said Finkel.<\/p>\n<p>HuffPost UK asked Relate counsellor Peter Saddington, about this phenomenon, and he says: \u201cSome people do have unrealistically high expectations of their partner, although it\u2019s also common for people to have very low ones. The truth is that no relationship is perfect so setting your expectations too high may lead to a lot of disappointment and heartache.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He shared six tell-tale signs that you may have your bar set too high.<\/p>\n<p>1. <b>You always idealise other people\u2019s relationships<\/b><\/p>\n<p>They say no one knows what a relationship is like behind closed doors and putting other people\u2019s relationships on a pedestal is a sign that you could be setting yourself up for failure.<\/p>\n<p>Saddington said: \u201cOur parents\u2019 relationship can be a huge influence here \u2013 if we think they seemed like the perfect couple, we may set our expectations quite high. We also have a tendency to compare current partners to our exes.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIf our ex was a brilliant cook or was very affectionate for example, we may expect the same from our new partner, but it\u2019s important to remember that everyone is unique and has their own strengths and weaknesses.\u201d  <\/p>\n<p>2. <b>You compare your relationship to fiction<\/b> <\/p>\n<p>We can all fall guilty of lusting after a knight in shining armour (especially when Disney makes them seem so damn appealing), but we need to embrace our partner entirely &#8211; warts and all.<\/p>\n<p>Saddington said: \u201cHollywood films and romantic novels can also have an influence, by leading us to believe that there\u2019s one perfect person out there who\u2019ll meet all of our needs. This myth of the one can mean people don\u2019t feel the need to work at their relationship. If there are problems, they may think they\u2019ve made the wrong choice of partner.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe truth is that no relationship is perfect so setting your expectations too high may lead to a lot of disappointment and heartache.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>3. <b>You expect your partner to spend all their time with you<\/b> <\/p>\n<p>Obviously everyone wants to spend time with their partner, and have mutual interests and hobbies to share, but there is a difference between enjoying their company and requiring they be present 24\/7.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWe rely on our partners for so much these days but it\u2019s healthy to have some separate interests and to enjoy the company of friends and family. It means you\u2019ll have more to talk about when you\u2019re together,\u201d said Saddington.<\/p>\n<p>Not only that, but you will find that spending all your time with your partner makes you both logistically and emotionally dependent on them. <\/p>\n<p>4. <b>You believe you should be showered with romantic gifts<\/b> <\/p>\n<p>A kind gesture or unexpected cuppa goes a long way, but expecting your partner to constantly shower lavish gifts might mean you are setting yourself to be disappointed. After all, you shouldn\u2019t need to be bought.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cExpecting your partner to buy you gifts and make romantic gestures all of the time may be unrealistic,\u201d said Saddington.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOf course, the odd thoughtful surprise is lovely but it doesn\u2019t determine the quality of your relationship. Trust, open communication and understanding are more important so try to focus on these.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>5. <b>You get frustrated when they don\u2019t read your mind.<\/b> <\/p>\n<p>Often a lack of communication can present big problems in a relationship, mainly when you think your partner doesn\u2019t understand you. Remember something crystal clear to you, may not be so obvious to them. So give your partner the benefit of the doubt and try not to talk in riddles.<\/p>\n<p>Saddington said: \u201cSometimes we expect our partners to be mind-readers but it\u2019s unrealistic to think they\u2019re going to know exactly what you\u2019re thinking all of the time. If you\u2019re angry or upset, talk to them about it and explain why, rather than expecting them to know the answer.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>6. <b>You are unable to agree with your partner on expectations<\/b> <\/p>\n<p>The last sign that you might be expecting too much, is if neither of you can agree on what is reasonable. This might not apply to every relationship &#8211; especially if there is an imbalance of power or emotional abuse &#8211; but if you consider your partner to be rational, caring and invested, maybe it\u2019s time to look at what you\u2019re asking.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDo this as early on in the relationship if you can but even if you\u2019ve been together for years, it\u2019s still worth having the conversation and reviewing your expectations over time as you both change and grow together. If you think their expectations are unrealistic then talk it through,\u201d said Saddington.<\/p>\n<p>And most of all, don\u2019t hold them to a standard you don\u2019t uphold yourself.<\/p>\n<p><!-- uploaded by: 65 updated by: -1 --><\/p>\n<p><!-- Start of html generated by this->footer() -->\n<\/div>\n<p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a style=\"display:none\" rel=\"follow\" href=\"http:\/\/megatheme.ir\/\" title=\"\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0628 \u0648\u0631\u062f\u067e\u0631\u0633\">\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0628 \u0648\u0631\u062f\u067e\u0631\u0633<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Entertainment of Thursday, 5 October 2017 Source: huffingtonpost.com 2017-10-05 File photo &#13; At the beginning of a new relationship, you\u2019ll be forgiven for seeing everything through rose-tinted glasses &#8211; dreaming about your future together is part and parcel of the honeymoon period. But once the lustful haze has worn off, you\u2019ll realise your once perfect [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-425592","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-entertainment"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Lifestyle: 6 Signs your expectations of a partner are set too high - Ghanamma.com<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2017\/10\/05\/lifestyle-6-signs-your-expectations-of-a-partner-are-set-too-high\/\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:title\" content=\"Lifestyle: 6 Signs your expectations of a partner are set too high - Ghanamma.com\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:description\" content=\"Entertainment of Thursday, 5 October 2017 Source: huffingtonpost.com 2017-10-05 File photo &#013; At the beginning of a new relationship, you\u2019ll be forgiven for seeing everything through rose-tinted glasses &#8211; dreaming about your future together is part and parcel of the honeymoon period. 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