<\/p>\n
As a manager, you probably wish you could give all the people on your team more attention. But sometimes certain employees seem to need more than their fair share of your time.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Maybe they repeatedly ask you to review their work, look for constant feedback, or regularly show up at your desk to chat.<\/p>\n
\n\t\t\t<\/p><\/div>\n
What do you do about that needy person on your team? How do you balance being a responsive manager with the need to get your own work done? And how should you manage your frustration?<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
What the experts say<\/strong><\/p>\n
<\/p>\n \u201cIn a 24-7 world, everyone\u2019s time has gotten more crunched,\u201d says Amy Jen Su, managing partner of Paravis Partners and coauthor of Own the Room: Discover Your Signature Voice to Master Your Leadership Presence. That\u2019s why managing someone who demands \u201cmore hours and minutes than you can possibly give\u201d is challenging. \u201cYou might feel impatient, frustrated, and maybe guilty that you\u2019re not giving this person enough.\u201d\u00a0 The fact is, \u201cthere could be any number of things feeding this needy behavior,\u201d says Linda Hill, professor at Harvard Business School and the coauthor of Being the Boss: The three Imperatives for Becoming a Great Leader. It is your job to figure out how to address the root cause. After all, your role as manager \u201cis to create an environment that will be energizing for the people working for you.\u201d Here are some strategies for doing that.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n Reflect on the source of the neediness<\/strong><\/p>\n
<\/p>\n The first step in dealing with a team member who needs extra handholding is to figure out what is driving the person\u2019s neediness, says Hill. \u201cYou\u2019re not expected to be a psychologist, but you should try to diagnose what\u2019s going on.\u201d Perhaps this person \u201cworked for a micromanager in the past, and she\u2019s in the habit of double- and triple-checking with you.\u201d The cause might also be \u201cinsecurity\u201d or lack of confidence; \u201csome people have a fear of what could go wrong,\u201d Hill explains. Consider the organizational circumstances as well. \u201cAre people getting laid off or not getting promoted? Sometimes employees are just looking for reassurance that they are doing okay.\u201d Think about your own role in the situation, too. \u201cThere could be something in your behavior that\u2019s triggering the neediness,\u201d Hill says. Jen Su agrees that self-reflection is important: you could be micromanaging \u201cor not giving enough direction or feedback, or maybe your one-on-ones are not set up optimally.\u201d Your ultimate aim is to come at the problem from a point of empathy.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n Talk to your employee<\/strong><\/p>\n
<\/p>\n Next, Jen Su recommends talking directly to your employee about your observations of the behavior. \u201cYour tone should not be shrill, impatient, or dismissive,\u201d she says. \u201cSay, \u2018You\u2019ve been coming in a lot for XYZ. But all these informal check-ins are not an efficient use of time for either of us. What\u2019s going on? How can I better support you?\u2019\u201d You could even make it about you, says Hill, \u201cwhich allows the employee to save face a little.\u201d She suggests saying something like, \u201cIt\u2019s my perception that I\u2019m in your work too much, and I\u2019m worried I might be a bottleneck.\u2019\u201d Boost your employee\u2019s ego, she says. \u201cSay, \u2018You should have the autonomy you deserve. You are competent. And you don\u2019t always need to report to me.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n \u2026And then listen<\/strong><\/p>\n
<\/p>\n Once you\u2019ve said your piece, listen carefully to how your employee responds. Remember, \u201cyour job is to coach your staff and help them grow,\u201d says Jen Su. Does your employee require more direction? A deeper relationship with you? More training? Or something else altogether? \u201cFigure out if there are small adjustments you can make\u201d to resolve the neediness. For example,<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Connect. \u201cSometimes employees feel neglected and talking to you about an assignment is just an excuse to get more of your time,\u201d says Hill. If this is the case, Jen Su recommends carving out time to connect with the person more regularly. \u201cThose five extra minutes can really matter \u2014 especially to people who are motivated by feeling involved and having rapport.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Praise and reassure. It\u2019s also important to think about ways to incorporate positive feedback into your regular one-on-one meetings, says Jen Su. \u201cYou forget that sometimes you need to reassure an employee who\u2019s doing a good job that he is, in fact, doing a good job.\u201d Remember, she adds, \u201cIt\u2019s human to want to feel appreciated for what we do.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Offer support. If your report tells you he\u2019s struggling with a particular task, you should marshal tools and resources help, says Hill. \u201cDoes he require more training? More education?\u201d She also recommends peer coaching. \u201cSay, \u2018Jane knows a lot about this topic. She can give you some insight on how to handle the challenge you\u2019re facing.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Set new goals. \u201cSome people\u2019s cognitive process manifests itself as neediness; they just need to make the sausage out loud and talk out everything,\u201d Jen Su says. With these people, it\u2019s important to emphasize the importance of \u201cindependent work as part of development plans.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n Tackle the confidence problem<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n When an employee\u2019s neediness stems from low self-esteem, it is a trickier problem. Broaching the subject won\u2019t be easy, but \u201cyou have an obligation as a manager to tell people how they\u2019re perceived\u201d especially when it comes to behaviors that \u201cinterfere with their ability to grow and thrive in the organization,\u201d says Hill.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n She suggests coming at the conversation from the angle of \u201cprofessional development\u201d \u2014 don\u2019t make it personal. \u201cBe sensitive. Say, \u2018I have, on occasion, observed that you lack confidence.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n I don\u2019t want that to get in the way of your achieving your potential. How can we correct this perception?\u201d Be collaborative. Work with your employee to \u201cbrainstorm ways you can help him become more confident.\u201d After all, \u201cIf he\u2019s not confident, other people won\u2019t have confidence in him either.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n Set boundaries<\/strong><\/p>\n
<\/p>\n If your employee continues to take advantage of your open-door policy, begin to \u201cset clearer boundaries,\u201d says Jen Su. \u201cYou want to be there for your team but your job is more about guiding and shepherding.\u201d Be gracious. You can say, \u201cI have 15 minutes before my next meeting, and I can talk to you for that amount of time.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n Or I am just going into a meeting. Can we table this conversation for your next one-on-one?\u201d Set a good example for your team. \u201cYou\u2019re not actually helping your team members develop on their own if you\u2019re constantly available,\u201d she says. \u201cYou need to model healthy boundaries.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n This is particularly true if you\u2019re managing a young person\u00a0 who doesn\u2019t have a lot of experience in the workplace.\u201d In certain cases, you need to be very explicit about your expectations, says Hill.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n To deal with this, you can say to the employee, \u201cYou\u2019ve been coming in to see me three times per week. Let\u2019s try once per week from now on,\u201d she says. \u201cYou need to help your employee unlearn a pattern of coming to you for every little thing.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n Prepare for a different\u00a0(more difficult) conversation<\/strong><\/p>\n
<\/p>\n Of course, you\u2019re not going to fire a worker for being too needy, but if you have failed to remedy that situation, it may be a sign that the problem runs deeper than you thought, says Hill. Frankly, this person might not be up to the job. \u201cIf your employee is incompetent, it is a different issue. Some people just plain don\u2019t get it.\u201d Jen Su agrees. \u201cIf you\u2019re holding your employees\u2019 hands for every single aspect of a work product, you need to have a different conversation around poor work performance,\u201d she says. \u201cThe more you let it fester, the worse it can get.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t As a manager, you probably wish you could give all the people on your team more attention. But sometimes certain employees seem to need more than their fair share of your time.
Maybe they repeatedly ask you to review their work, look for constant feedback, or regularly show up at your desk to chat. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-395788","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-business"],"yoast_head":"\n
\n \n\t\t\t<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"