We’ve all been there when our date hasn’t called us back. We’ve all sat on edge for hours on end, just waiting for the phone to ring. We try to act as though everything is normal and get on with our life, but most of the time it just isn’t possible. We can’t function without knowing why he hasn’t called us back. We can’t engage in conversation with our friends, and we can’t even eat. And don’t even try to convince us to leave the house.
Sometimes, of course, the phone will ring and we’ll flip it open quicker than we’ve ever done anything in our life. Then we look sadly at the phone screen when we realise it’s just our friend calling. Or, worse still, it’s an “unknown number.” Sigh.
As more hours pass, you begin to resign yourself to the fact that he really isn’t calling you back. You stop taking your phone into the shower with you in case he rings and instead start asking the question, “Why? Why hasn’t he called back?”
If you’re currently experiencing existential inner turmoil over this eternally confusing question, we’ve got your back. We’ve also got 10 possible reasons why he didn’t call you. Let’s take a look.
He’s still hung up on his ex
Ex’s have a LOT to answer for. They’re often the prime reason why your date can’t commit to you, and they’re so very frustrating. You know they should be out of the picture by now, but for whatever reason they’re just not.
The thing is that some of us are just better at getting over our ex’s than others are. Perhaps for him it was first love, or maybe they broke up because of circumstances rather than because they hated each other. Maybe she broke his heart and he doesn’t want to go through that ever again. Only he really knows and you’re just going to have to bear with him. Or move on, of course.
You asked him the wrong questions
There is such a thing as first date etiquette, and it may well be that you overstepped your boundaries and asked him the wrong questions that have made him a bit cautious.
Perhaps you grilled him on intellectually stimulating subjects that you love, such as religion. Perhaps you made fun of his answers when he told you he likes Donald Trump. Maybe you pried too much into his past relationships, or maybe you dug too deep into his private life.
Have a think about the kind of questions you asked him and whether they were too sensitive.
He Is Scared Of Commitment
Maybe the date went really well and you both enjoyed yourselves. Perhaps you returned home feeling on top of the the world and expected him to do the same.
But wait a minute: He isn’t returning your call, so maybe he didn’t have such a good time after all? You were sure he did, though. He even said so.
Maybe he did have a really great time with you, but maybe he’s also got commitment issues. Maybe he returned home, got your call and then realised he didn’t want to get trapped in a potential long-term relationship.
Getting guys to commit is not easy, and sometimes you’ve just got to give them their space early on.
He’s Actually Really Lazy
Hey, maybe he hasn’t called you back yet simply because he’s lazy. This is a totally viable reason. He might still be snoozing on the couch, or he might even be embroiled in his Xbox.
They might genuinely be Busy
I know, I know: The old saying is that nobody is ever too busy to return a phone call. Even the President of the United States of America can find a window of time during his busy day to return a call. So what’s stopping your date who told you he worked in a factory?
The truth is that people genuinely do get so busy during the day that they just find it really hard to squeeze in something like a phone call. You might think it sounds ridiculous, but if a man has a super busy workload, he’s going to make sure he gets all the tough and stressful stuff out of the way first before he relaxes and calls you back.
You’ve already added him to every single social media account
You’ve returned home and called him up. That’s cool. But if you’ve also added him to Facebook, followed him on Twitter and Instagram, you might be creeping him out a little. You might be coming on way too strong.
I know all this is only online stuff and as such “shouldn’t really matter,” but if you go too far too soon on social media, you could freak him out a little.
He’s lost his phone
This is a long shot, and it’s an easy excuse for anyone to make. But in the first 24 hours after you’ve called, losing his phone might be the reason he hasn’t returned your call.
Once the 24 hours elapse, though, he should find other means of getting in touch, such as Facebook.
He might have other intentions to yours
So yeah, the date went really well. You both had a laugh, had a drink, had a chat and got to know one another. The date ended on good terms, and you both said what a lovely time you had.
This is all well and good, but what if your ultimate intentions are worlds apart? You might want a long-term relationship and he might just want to hang. Your time together might have confirmed your differences to him, and as such he’s now deciding that he doesn’t want to pursue you anymore.
Maybe he just loves being single
I know what you’ll say to this: “Then why did he come out on a date in the first place?!”
But maybe he just didn’t realise your ultimate intentions. Perhaps he thought you just wanted to hang out with him and have a laugh. But the minute you started to get serious and – if you’re anything like me on my first ever date – started talking about babies, he’ll have ran a mile.
Therefore, he might be mulling over how best to respond to you. You clearly want something more here, and he just wants to enjoy the good life of being single. It’s hard to accept, but that’s just the way things are sometimes.
He’s not interested
It’s sad – but it might be true. He might have told you at the end of the date that he had a good time just to be polite and not upset you. But now that the crunch time has come, he’s missing in action because he didn’t feel a “click” with you.