The Type Beards You Keep And What They Say About You

The cautious creative 

The stigma-laded soul patch doesn’t come without plenty of preconceived notions, as it’s viewed as a rather ridiculous afterthought by some and as a beatnik, hippy look by others. But not all tiny-patch-displaying dudes deserve such disdain. He is likely an offbeat yet creative visionary who pushes the envelope just enough before crossing the line. That’s where the fear of commitment comes into play. He may work in an industry that frowns upon facial hair but is rebellious enough to test that rule with his own bit of individual soul.

The scruffy hotshot

The intentional stubble is the GQ of face manes. Its model-esque way is ubiquitous across men’s magazines and the celebrity set, so the scruff-centered guy generally has an underlying trendsetting and style-conscious attitude. Overall, he is a laid-back, play-it-cool dude with a bit of a devil-may-care attitude. Because of its hotshot personality, the wearer may be single and playing the field because, well, he can. Done well, the stubble must be carefully maintained, and he knows it. It takes time to look intentionally un-groomed — call it the no-makeup makeup look for the guys. Sloppy, roll-out-of-bed fuzz has no place here.

The up-and-comer 

As for that messy, roll-out-of-bed scruff, it often characterizes the young up-and-comers who are perennial after partiers. They spend the whole night cavorting around no matter the day of the week. Office hours, of course, arrive too early in the morning so the unintentional, ill-groomed scruff is used nearly as a badge of honor for those late-night excursions. The up-and-comer may believe he looks a lot better than he really does with the sloppy, uneven stubble. The alternative is that he simply doesn’t care, which could indicate a lack of reliability and tact. The fact that he wears the sloppy scruff in public indicates that such delusions will only disappear when he grows up.

The throwback kid

Sideburns are to the face what the mullet is to the hair — a hotly contested style statement that can either be retro rad or just really passé, depending on who you ask. But the throwback kid wears the furry side chops with the ultimate confidence, complementing all his tatted-up leather and grunge angst. He likely keeps one foot firmly planted in the lifestyle of several decades past and the other foot on the pedal of a motorcycle or a vintage hot rod.

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