Hovering over a child’s every move is not only annoying, but it leads the child to an unfortunate conclusion; mom or dad do not believe in my ability to be successful on my own. Unfortunately, this parenting behavior leads children to distrust in their own abilities and take fewer risks, even when they are capable of doing something on their own.
- OVERLY STRICT PARENTING BEHAVIOUR
Research by the University College London found that harsh parenting behavior had effects on the level of self-control for children and that these effects lasted and were also correlated with conduct problems later in life. The researchers say that ‘Harsh parenting predicted conduct problems for both boys and girls. Self-control at age 9 predicted conduct problems and emotional difficulties at age 12.’
Lower self-control levels were the result of strictly overseeing children’s behavior and being overly restrictive in the boundaries given to children. Allowing children, especially as they learn to manage their behavior within the reasonable boundaries that they have already mastered, to experience greater and greater freedom is essential to children being successful.
- DISCOURAGING EMOTIONAL EXPRESSION
A healthy parent-child relationship is mutually beneficial to both child and adult. A balance of give and take early in a relationship is one of the best predictors of childhood success. To build this connection, honest discussion about frustrations, worries, and things that upset you can help children learn about negative emotions and how to handle them without suppressing them.
- NOT PRACTICING WHAT YOU PREACH
With all of the guidance parents give their children, children still watch to see if the parenting behavior matches what they have taught. If you do not share with others, but you teach your children to do so, they are receiving a mixed message and they may experience confusion about what is really right.
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