Signs It Really Is You, And Nobody Else, Messing Up Your Relationships

You’ve made him your whole life

You won’t say yes to plans with your friends until you’ve confirmed that your boyfriend didn’t have some vague plan in his head for the two of you that night. No man wants to say, “I think you need your own life and stop looking to me for your entire social calendar.

You try to fix men

The second a man senses that a woman is trying to “fix” him or alter him in any way, he’ll bail. If you try to push men into taking jobs they don’t want or being more assertive/less abrasive/you name it, they will leave you. They’ll just say, “It seems we aren’t compatible,” but what they mean is, “You’re bossy and won’t accept me for who I am!”

You don’t care enough

Plenty of women make this mistake; for fear of caring too much, they overcorrect and don’t care at all. This means they barely call the guy, barely make plans with him unless he initiates them and barely asks what he’s up to. Obviously, a guy is going to leave then, but he isn’t going to say, “You don’t pay attention to me!” because, well, nobody wants to say that.

Or you care too much

You let little disputes destroy you. If your partner gets annoyed with you for five minutes, even if he promises he’s over it, you obsess about it all day, constantly asking if he’s still mad. Men want to be with somebody who is secure enough in herself to know if and when she truly f*cked up, and when she didn’t.

You can’t be sweet or nurturing

Maybe you’ve been burned in the past—you were very sweet to a guy who let you down—so now you withhold your nurturing side. No guy wants to pay for the mistakes of others and every guy wants someone who will bring them some freaking cough syrup when they’re sick and rub their back. Don’t you want that, too? If you can’t be nurturing, the guy will probably take off. But he’ll say it’s that he needs more than you can give him, rather than blame you for not being giving.

You don’t let anything go

If the restaurant host is rude to you, if the server doesn’t bring what you asked for, or if you didn’t get the ocean-view hotel room that you requested, you don’t let it go. You obsess over these things, ruining the experience for everybody else. Why would anybody want to be with somebody who ruins their rare and precious vacations and nights off?

Or you’re very down on yourself

Maybe your insecurity manifests itself in a much more honest manner; maybe you constantly criticize yourself and point out how much better you think other women are than you. If you don’t think you’re a catch, why should anybody else?