The Problems That Steer Up From Dating Someone Less Ambitious Than You

When you first start dating someone, you just think about things like, “Does he make me laugh? Is there a physical attraction? Do we share the same values? Do I feel excited around him? Does he have his life at least somewhat together?” Those are certainly important characteristics of any working relationship, and they create the groundwork for something that can really grow. But one thing we often overlook until it’s too late (aka we’re really attached to the person and breaking up would hurt a lot) is how ambitious our partner is.

young African couple having conflict sitting on the sofa.

They won’t be as social

If you’re career- and goal-oriented, you’re pretty game to meet people and socialize. You like sharing ideas and making connections! Who knows what a new friend may bring. An unambitious partner will want to stay in more and will want you to stay in with him.

So what happens?

You’ll constantly have to choose between spending time with your partner and spending time with everybody else. That’s a terrible place to be.


They won’t be as curious

You never know what may inspire you, so you look for inspiration everywhere. You’re up for all types of exhibits, concerts, lectures and destinations because they might turn on a light bulb in your brain. Unambitious people usually like to stick to what they know and may not be as curious as you are.

So what happens?

You’ll go to those things by yourself. You’ll miss out on the important bonding that happens when you experience and witness things together.

You’ll run out of things to talk about

What do people talk about at the end of the day? They talk about how things went at work, what they achieved, what they’d like to go different tomorrow and what they hope to achieve. If your partner just hopes to achieve being in bed by 9 pm and watching a new episode of his show, but he can’t see beyond that, your conversations will die off quickly.

So what happens?

You’ll turn to books or television, or going out with friends instead of talking to each other. That’s no relationship at all.