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![\"Couple](\"http:\/\/ghanamma.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/28669765.295.jpg\" "\\"Couple")
File Photo<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n There are some reasonably reliable ways to know someone is sexually satisfied. They may tell you how much they are enjoying sex while you are doing it or afterwards.<\/p>\n
When you\u2019re having sex they may experience orgasm, which is usually the thing people take as the indicator sex has \u2018finished\u2019 and been \u2018good\u2019. Although that\u2019s not always a reliable guide, since it\u2019s perfectly possible to enjoy sex without orgasm and you can have an orgasm without the sex being all that good.<\/p>\n
You can also have an orgasm that feels nice but isn\u2019t all that dramatic leaving people to (incorrectly) assume sex wasn\u2019t pleasurable.<\/p>\n
While you may notice some physical changes during sex \u2013 for example genital wetness, skin flushing\/darkening, breathing getting quicker and so on, this doesn\u2019t happen for everyone. Setting store that there are definite tell tale signs someone has been satisfied can be misleading. The things you mentioned, about changes in his eyes for example, may be noted in popular culture but aren\u2019t particularly useful (or hold up to much scientific scrutiny).<\/p>\n
Your worries are understandable. Most of us want to please and make someone happy whether we\u2019re having a casual hook up or long-term relationship. It\u2019s arousing to know you\u2019ve done something that directly turned another person on.<\/p>\n
But there is also huge cultural pressure to be \u2018good in bed\u2019, accompanied by a taboo around asking about how things are going. This is partly driven by a fear that if you aren\u2019t good in bed your relationship could be at risk.<\/p>\n
All of which brings us to what you mean by \u2018satisfied\u2019.<\/p>\n
We usually link \u2018sexual satisfaction\u2019 with \u2018have I given them an orgasm\u2019? But it may mean something other than that. When people worry about if they have satisfied a partner they may be worried about other things such as: \u2022 Am I desirable enough? \u2022 Am I attractive enough? \u2022 Am I doing it right? \u2022 Will my partner look elsewhere\/cheat? \u2022 Do I seem foolish to my partner?<\/p>\n
It may help you to think about why this is making you so anxious? What has led you to feel this way? And what are you afraid might happen?<\/p>\n
Reflecting on this may make it clear to you if your worries are based around needing more sex information, which you could get via resources like Bish, Scarleteen or About Sexuality.<\/p>\n
Or it may suggest to you there are wider relationship issues to address around trust, jealousy, communication or dealing with arguments and general respect. If that is the case then counseling may benefit you.<\/p>\n
Alternatively it may be you might want to focus on your own confidence or communication skills. Which you might address via courses, workshops or reading books on confidence and assertiveness.<\/p>\n
You husband may well masturbate. A lot of people do, whether they are in a relationship or not. It does not mean they are unhappy with you, or \u2018cheating\u2019 (because they\u2019re doing it themselves rather than with you), or that you aren\u2019t satisfying them.<\/p>\n
Same goes for thinking about sex. He may well think about sex when he isn\u2019t with you. You are thinking about sex in writing this email. Again thinking about sex isn\u2019t a sign you are doing something wrong \u2013 or that he is.<\/p>\n
Both of you have a right to your own sexual thoughts, feelings and desires. You may wish to share some of these together or explore them on your own.<\/p>\n
Being able to open up about how you feel is important. But so is respecting each other\u2019s privacy and not jumping to conclusions on the basis of underpant surveillance.<\/p>\n
Satisfaction is not just about having an orgasm. Or just about having sex. In a relationship it might extend to the friendship you also share, joint interests and individual hobbies, socialising together and apart, how you give\/get affection, respect and trust.<\/p>\n
If you broaden your initial worry from \u2018am I pleasing someone sexually?\u2019 to \u2018are we enjoying this?\u2019 it becomes less threatening. Rather than framing this as a problem or a shortcoming on your part, you could introduce this as a means of thinking about what already works in the relationship and how to enjoy it more.<\/p>\n
Together you may want to explore the following: \u2022 What are the things we like about this relationship? \u2022 Are there things we already enjoy that we\u2019d like to do more of? \u2022 Are there things we haven\u2019t tried that we might like to explore? \u2022 Are there things we might prefer not to do so much of?<\/p>\n
You may want to think about sexual pleasures separately from other relationship issues or consider everything together. It may be easier to do via a series of conversations or via email, letter, cards or drawings. Or to share films, poetry or music to get the conversation started.<\/p>\n
You could write each other wish lists of things you\u2019d like to do, or discuss ways of telling each other how you feel about the things you like \u2013 that way you are not left guessing if either of you are happy. You will know what is working out for you and the options you have for change.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
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Entertainment of Saturday, 15 October 2016 Source: Telegraph 2016-10-15 File Photo There are some reasonably reliable ways to know someone is sexually satisfied. They may tell you how much they are enjoying sex while you are doing it or afterwards. When you\u2019re having sex they may experience orgasm, which is usually the thing people take […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-323580","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard"],"yoast_head":"\n
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