Entertainment of Saturday, 15 October 2016
The coming and going of people is as natural in life as the tides. There are those we meet who never leave. Other relationships gently dissolve while some erupt and leave us stymied in the ash like those people from Pompeii. Breakups are some of our lives most climatic moments, but did you know that there are different kinds of breakups? Ranked by the heartache caused, here is a list of breakup types that you will most likely be encountering or have already encountered
1. The mutual breakup
If you are going to break up with someone, this is the way to do it. A mutual breakup happens when both sides are in agreement and are at peace with the decision to separate. This one also hurts the least, because you both know the relationship would have probably ended in due time.
There might also be a chance for recovery together from this one. For example, if your love for each other is actually more platonic than romantic, you can still be friends. But we all know how that goes.
2. The circumstantial breakup
Similar to the mutual breakup, this one is caused by situations that impede the relationship from developing any further. You are in a long distance relationship, one of you travels, the family or their best friend does not like you, or a multitude of other issues can occur that fracture your coupling. This one will hurt slightly because one of you may have honest feelings of love that you now have to brush aside.
3. The first love breakup
Also known as the High School Sweetheart Breakup, a first love breakup is one that will have taken some time to develop. Your first love might not have happened in High School, maybe in college or after graduation, but things got steamy fast.
You might have moved in together, got some pets, thought everything was going to be heaven. Then the relationship started to sour between you as you matured. As it turns out, the two of you were not meant to be, and so the cookie crumbles.
Sometimes we never get over our first loves. We carry the influences they made on us forever because they are the ones that showed us what emotions we are capable of feeling. Take time to recover from this one. Try to learn about yourself and where you can do better next time.
4. The ultimatum breakup
We have all heard it, even outside of relationships. “Lose weight,” “get a new job,” “change your religion,” and other demands will definitely come with the “or I am breaking up with you” punchline. Chances are, this has not been the smoothest of relationships, to begin with. Maybe even a fixer coupling rather than true love.
Ultimatum breakups are rather huge obstacles because one of you may be left feeling some sense of guilt or obligation to the other individual. Just remember that while relationships are built on compromises, you should never compromise your personal happiness and health for another individual. That is not love. That is manipulation. Don’t let an ultimatum breakup disrupt your ability to trust.
5. The rollercoaster and rebound breakup
Have someone you have been on and off with for what seems like years of your life? Chances are you have been repeating a serious cycle of rebound breakups to compliment a tumultuous and needy companionship.
Neither of you is ready to mutually agree on separating, or you have something hanging over you that keeps drawing you two back together. Honestly, rip the Band-Aid off and move on. It will sting to hurt this other person’s feelings, but clinging to a relationship that does neither one of you any good is shallow and unreal.
6. The blindside breakup
What every Taylor Swift song seems to be about! Of course, this is a truly upsetting situation, because one of you does not expect this to happen. You have the illusion that everything has been going all right, and then boom, “I’m leaving you.”
Know that if you plan on doing the blindsiding, the person affected will be utterly devastated. And if you have been blindsided, you know what I’m talking about. Like the ultimatum breakup that tests your patience and trust, the blindside breakup will wipe your feet out from underneath you and leave you questioning if it is better to adopt a dozen cats.
7. The abusive relationship breakup
This is one of the worst ordeals and often ends terribly. Domestic violence is prevalent in every society, although not every society allows for the abused to leave. Divorce is not always an option, especially for housewives and husbands or if children are involved.
Sometimes, the only way you can detach yourself from the danger is to react violently. Either way, the scars are not merely physical. For those who make it out of this breakup alive, they will have damages reaching into their souls. Remember that you survived and are living on, freely. Strongly.
8. The death breakup
Death is unavoidable in most cases. This type of breakup is like a blindside but worse, because one of you disappears from this planet forever, leaving the surviving party with crushed hopes and dreams and billions of unanswerable questions.
It does not matter if you been together for 3 months or married for 30 years. Handling the death of someone you love will not come easily. Do what has to be done to recover, such as counselling, taking a vacation from work, or doing some soul searching.
Breaking up is not easy, no matter the reason or the cause. Breaking up might be an immediate relief or a terrible trauma. Sometimes we do not need the extra prod to ask for a split.
In other instances, we are driven by an intense desire to be released from the responsibilities piled upon us through the unsatisfactory relationship. Nevertheless, people will come and go. We can only keep on keeping on.