You’re interested in dating and getting married to a great guy, but is he a true gentleman?
The term “true gentleman” may bring to mind images of cultural heroes of Atticus Finch, Cary Grant, and any number of characters from Downton Abbey. But how do you know if you have a “true gentleman” for yourself?
Here are some things that help identify what separates the men from the gentleman:
He is proactive in his life
A true gentleman is off the couch making something of his life, not only for himself but also for those closest to him. A true gentleman will care about his relationships, his career, his education and his personal progress and will make proactive strides daily to improve each of these areas of his life. A true gentleman doesn’t wait for life to happen to him, instead he takes the reins and makes happen what he wants out of life, in every facet.
He is kind
A true gentleman never speaks to you with harsh, biting words or tones. He never seeks to talk down, belittle, or hurt you — even in joking. A true gentleman will see things from your perspective, listen, and empathize with you. A true gentleman controls his words and actions, ever wanting to make the experience of being with him a good and memorable one.
He calls you
This one may seem simple, or even outdated, but a true gentleman will always call you to ask you out, or at least to have a real conversation (even better in person, of course). Texting, snapchatting, and tweeting are absolutely not the way a true gentleman will want to communicate with you if he wants to create a real relationship. It may take effort, but this is absolutely the sign of a true gentleman. You are better than a text or a tweet, remember that.
He is clean
A true gentleman knows how to take care of himself physically and hygienically. He showers regularly, gets a good haircut, and makes sure he smells and looks presentable, always.
He is clean in the sense that he distances himself from activities and habits that will degrade the cleanliness of his mind and soul. This cleanliness will give your man confidence and will enable him to look you in eye with purity and sincerity.
He comes to the porch, he opens doors and he pays for you
A true gentleman will never text for you to come out. He comes to your house (in a clean car, inside and out — because you deserve this), walks to the door (ideally with flowers), opens your car door, and of course pays for you on the date, every time.
A true gentleman always remembers his manners and is kind, polite, and cheerful not only to you, but to strangers along the way. How a man treats not only his date, but the cashier, the waiter, the attendant, whomever, is a sure tell of how this man conducts his life and if he has the makings of a true gentleman or not.
He is strong
A true gentleman is strong physically and in character. He takes care of himself physically and is able to protect you, if needed. A true gentleman is also strong in character, meaning he lives his life with integrity, honesty, empathy, and patience.
He dresses intentionally
A true gentleman will know how to dress himself for whatever situation or occasion arises. Gym shorts and a tee shirt are ok if you’re going to play basketball, but a true gentleman will know how to class it up on a date. Remember, you are better than the gym shorts. A true gentleman will want to make you feel proud to be with him, and dressing intentionally for the occasion shows that he cares about the details in life.
He is thoughtful
A true gentleman is thoughtful. Whether this be flowers for an occasion, a thoughtful text, an unexpected phone call just to say hello, a surprise of any sort is a sign of a true gentleman that is paying attention to you and knows what you’re all about. A boy will be clueless and forgetful, but a true gentleman always strives to remember the little things.
He exercises restraint and self-control
Perhaps none of these traits make any difference unless your man has self-control over not only himself, but also his money, his temper, his words, his passions, etc. He has a balance in his life and keeps himself in good health mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. He is constantly trying to better himself and works to change for the better everyday.
In the end, being a gentleman is a process, but if a man is making an honest effort everyday to live these traits than he is worth taking a chance on.