We all dream about finding our one true love. It’s normal to want to be loved and to give love in return. The problem is that sometimes love sends mixed signals. Just because someone loves you doesn’t mean you automatically love him back, and just because you are happy when you’re with a person doesn’t mean you’ve found love. As funny as it sounds, it’s tricky knowing whether or not you are really in love.
Here are seven signs that let you know it really isn’t love.
1. He gives you butterflies
Yes, feeling that excitement in your stomach can be a good sign, but it’s also a sign of something else … Your body naturally feels that “butterfly feeling” when you are nervous or anxious. Are you feeling a lovey-dovey kind of excitement, or are you anxious about what you will say or how your partner will react to you? Remember, butterflies don’t always mean love.
2. He’s a heartthrob
Sometimes, physical attraction can be mistaken for love. We have hormones for a reason, but they shouldn’t be the foundation for a loving relationship. If you feel yourself crushing on your date’s looks rather than focusing on his character and the way he talks to you, you might be mistaking a crush for love.
3. You feel better when you’re with him
Of course it’s a good sign that you feel great when you are with your sweetheart! This feeling might be a problem, however, if you find that you’re depressed when you’re on your own. If you can’t appreciate your own value independently, don’t be fooled into thinking someone else can fill that void. True love will make you feel amazing — when you are together and when you are on your own.
4. You live to please
While every good relationship does require sacrifice, being desperately dutiful does not equal true love. Your love should want to be with you the way you are, not because of the way you serve him. Don’t confuse dependency with love.
5. You put on a face
Though you may think you love your sweetheart, if you aren’t your true self when you’re with him, it is not love. Love is about trust and honesty. Though it may feel like love, if you are putting on a face or being someone you’re not, it’s not real.
6. He’s like so many other fish in the sea
If you are with a person you think you could replace, that’s not love. Love is knowing that you have found someone unique, someone special, someone just for you. True love doesn’t come a dime a dozen. If you think your next relationship could make you just as happy, you aren’t in love.
7. You love who you think he is
It can be difficult knowing whether you’re in love with a person or the idea of that person. If you find yourself loving him as he appears on paper (great job, high educational degree, traveler) instead of who he really is, then it’s not true love. Love means loving the person as well as his achievements.
Don’t let this list discourage you. Instead, let it guide you. Love means finding that one person who makes you feel like you belong — like there is no other place you could be happier. True love will last through life’s adventures and upsets. It will be strong in the early days and in the later years. Love feels comfortable. It means being accepted. It is there through the good and bad.
Don’t trick yourself into feeling something that isn’t really love. True love is worth the wait.
This is a translation and adaptation of the original article, “7 señales que te avisan que no estás enamorada.”