‘Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it………so ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever yet hates his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church.’ Ephesians 5:25, 28-29.
It’s indeed a new world. These days when a man meets a woman, it’s the man who first asks the woman what she does for a living. He wants to make sure her pocket is heavy before he goes out with her.
Some men claim they like independent women; ones who will pay for their own dinner when they take them out, buy their own stuff and be totally independent from them. That’s all great; but if such is their expectation, then they should not expect the woman to be the homemaker as well.
Since you want to be equal bread winners, then you must be equal homemakers. Is it a surprise that women are fighting for equality, or are challenging their husbands? I think not; because the men have sold their birthright.
Some men claim to be real African men through and through. They believe the woman’s place is the kitchen; i.e she is meant to do all the house chores in the marriage and yet these same men expect their wives to share in the financial responsibility.
Depending on their work schedule, if he closes from work before his wife, he would not pick up the kids from school or help with house chores. He would just head home, maybe take a shower and sit on the couch, watch TV or sometimes meet the boys and have fun with them and expect his wife to do all the work.
Go to the market after work, pick up the kids and come and cook for him to eat. Wow! What a pity! With such attitude, what respect and submission would you get from your wife? You obviously have no respect or love for her. She is nothing but an asset or a tool; a necessary evil, right?
If you love her, you would not put her through such physical and emotional torture. Some women may not complain, but that is not to say they are happy.
God created the woman to be the helpmate not the maid. Some men are silently abusive and dominant over their wives; they abuse them psychologically and emotionally.
If a woman fears her husband, that is not love; she is meant to love and respect you and not fear you.
You are not God. Don’t think you have achieved anything, if your wife lives in fear of you and you are so proud about it and brag about it.
Where there is love, there is no fear. Even God does not want us to cower before Him in fear but in love.
The fear of God is acknowledging and being in awe of His Supremacy, Sovereignty and Amazing and Unconditional Love for mankind. It is not to relate to Him as a God of terror but a God of love; so who are you man, to be a terror to your wife- the woman you claim to love.
Being domineering, obsessive and possessive is not LOVE. You may not be one that abuses her physically, but even a psychological and emotional abuse is no better than a physical one.
Then you are not better than the demon that calls himself a husband and pours acid on his wife’s face, shoots her in her sleep, cuts off her hand or even beats her up daily.
In their twisted mind, these men believe they love their wives; but such men are incapable of love. They have no idea what love is. If you truly love your wife, you will know you are one with her; what hurts her must hurt you and what hurts you must hurt her.
If you hurt her, you hurt yourself and if she hurts you, she hurts herself. How can you claim to love someone and slap her at the slightest provocation, or disfigure her or even kill her? If you have a psychological problem, seek for help immediately and don’t take it out on your wife.
Let me state this for the record; any man who in his twisted and sick mind decides to kill a woman because she doesn’t want to be with him or because he thinks she’s cheating on him and then commits suicide, is bound for eternal destruction.
This is no judgment but a pure and simple Truth. And the man, who decides to eliminate his wife, so that he can be with another woman, will not have peace but untold suffering; again not a curse but a truth. The Evil that Men do will definitely live with them!
Before you hurt your wife, stop and think if you would enjoy the same treatment if it was vice versa; or think about your mother or sister and ask yourself if you would be happy to see another man hurt her the way you do your wife.
Men get this straight, Machoism does not make you a man; in fact, it makes you a coward and is also certainly not love.
No matter how a woman may provoke you, know that you have not the same strength and beating her up does not prove that you are strong.
True strength is self-control and discipline; because believe me; it takes strong will to have self-control and discipline.
You will feel victorious when you can walk away from your nagging and verbally abusive wife without lifting a finger to touch her or when you peacefully let the woman who says she doesn’t want to be with you anymore leave without hurting her.
Remember, if you claim to love Jesus, then you will not hurt another.
If you even claim to have any love in you, then you will not hurt the one you are supposed to be with.
There is no justification for a man who abuses his wife. If you have no understanding of the true meaning of love, read 1Corinthians 13:1-10 and it will help you see things in a better perspective.
Remember Husbands, Love does not fail; and if you cheat on your wives, “or abuse them, or kill them, you have failed!
May the peace of Christ reign in your hearts!
Click here for the first part of this article published earlier titled “Wives submit to your husbands; it’s not archaic.
Stay blessed and know that Jesus loves you dearly just as I do.
By: Trudylove Smith-Freeman/ [email protected]