3 sanity-saving tips for when you love someone who’s NOT ready

Have you ever met someone great and gotten really excited about him, only to realize later that the timing was off?

Because you were so into him, you stayed and hoped that you could wait it out. Before you knew it, months — or even years past — and things were still the same.

The easiest thing to do is to nip this in the bud. Resolve to date only people who are willing and able to have the kind of relationship you want to have, as in TODAY, not in six months or when “X” happens.

That said, if you’re in too deep already and dating someone who isn’t quite ready to date you, here are three tips to follow:

1. Look at the facts

First, take a good hard look at the facts. Is there an end in sight — a firm date? If so, are you willing to wait? Have you discussed what will happen after that date?

Simply determine whether or not your needs are going to be met in this relationship. If the answer is no, then get out. Resolve to never again be in a relationship where your needs will not be met.

2. Acknowledge how YOU feel

Next, consider how this situation might be serving you.

Has this happened to you before? More than once? If so, why have you been willing to put yourself in these relationships? Did you think you couldn’t do any better?

Every minute you spend in a dead end relationship is a minute you WON’T get back. Take action toward the result you say you want, or admit that you just don’t want it enough to change.

3. Take action

Finally, decide what action you are going to take … and take it. If you decide to stay, stay for yourself. No complaining — you are signing up for the way things are right now.

If you decide to walk away, leave and stick to your guns. Be clear on what you want and be willing to hold out for it.

In the future, only become involved with people who are available for the kind of relationshipyou want. You’re the one who gets to decide what you will (and won’t) tolerate both in your relationships and your life.