Many a times it is very difficult to walk away from a relationship especially, when one believes strongly that she/he may have put in much effort and time both emotionally and physically.
Sometimes, the person that you agree to be in a relationship with starts off by acting just the way that they should or as is expected of them, only to end up seeming like a completely different person, just like a chameleon.
Walking away from a bad relationship takes guts, and for different reasons, not everyone has the strength to give themselves the push that they need to do this.
What’s more, as it is said that ‘quitters don’t win and winners don’t quit,’ we all do not wish to be quitters as we all feel motivated by successes.
Some questions we usually do not want to spend the rest of our lives asking are “what if things would have turned out to be better if I had waited a little longer? Was I to still try and put in more effort?”
Quite challenging questions though, but they come hand in hand with the fear of moving on.
However, the “little longer” as it is often referred to, never seems to come any sooner.
In some instances, walking away may actually be of benefit to all involved. The fear of walking away sometimes keeps us stuck to people we gain no happiness from.
Relationships last longer because two people decided or made a choice to keep it, fight for it and work for it, but the question as to whether the pains are worth prolonging still remains unanswered.
It’s easy to get swept up in a relationship when you fall in love and everything seems perfect, but not all relationships are meant to last. You may need to end things when they start to go badly before it turns to disaster. But how do we know when we’ve reached a dead end? Here are SIGNS to help make that decision;
● Fussing and fighting
A relationship is said to be bad enough when ones has to apologize for everything. When the “am sorry” begins to take over the relationship, it takes the fun out of it. Then, you can not go two days without a big fight; usually you both don’t even know what you are fighting about, all romance is gone, and you no longer enjoy each other’s company such that you begin to avoid each other; enjoying the company of friends rather than your partner. Upon critical analysis you realize that, the bad outweighs the good, the stress is constant, the arguments are habitual and the weight of the burden being carried keeps getting heavier and it feels as though you are no longer familiar with the person you are dating…- Don’t try too hard to bring the old romance back. It’s not worth it. Love should be effortless and mutual, and even if you try to force it, it’ll just slip away again, causing you more pain- its just time to let go. Ignoring the obvious would only complicate issues for the both of you.
● You both seem to have had enough
A relationship can be very frustrating taking a lot of time and concentration. The rigor of constantly taking each others feelings and circumstances into consideration while simultaneously dealing with our own lives can really frustrate us, causing us to loose some focus. Comparing how much effort we put into our work and daily activities, when our mind is at peace to when we are emotionally traumatized, ascertains to this. When you both seem to have had enough of the relationship already, then obviously what is there to fight for?
● Lost trust
When both of you have lost trust in each other and the insecurity begins to set in, the happiness gets drifted. One or both of you becomes controlling and overly suspicious – reading your mails, whatsapp messages, facebook messages, text messages and so on as well as checking on you- then trust is lost. How is it possible to love someone you practically cannot trust? If trust is lost, relationships fracture and all may not be forgiven. Certain occurrences may have given way to that lost trust but, the inability to let go means bearing grudges within and doubting your partners every move. Why torture each other when its obvious you both aspire to have more than you feel you presently have. You don’t trust what your partner says or does and you still want to call it a relationship?
● When you’re Afraid To Express Yourself
Being in love should bring out the best in you. It should help you be less self-conscious and make you more open and lively. If you are in a relationship that does not allow you to be yourself and express a personal opinion; if you begin to feel like you are walking on eggs all the time; hoping not to upset the partner that professes to love you, or probably you worry that you’ll upset your partner if you say what you think, or if you’re afraid that the least thing will destroy the delicate balance you’ve achieved in your relationship, then ,the time is due.
● When your self-esteem is suffering
A good relationship makes you feel respected and loved, worthwhile and good about yourself. never settle for less. If your relationship is demeaning, makes you feel bad about yourself, leaves you feeling like you’re never listened to, and you’re getting more criticism than praise, then it’s time to get out. . Be realistic. You don’t want to kid yourself into thinking things will get better if they just keep getting worse. Remind yourself that you are a worthy person who deserves better.
● Loss of respect
Respect for each other is crucial in a relationship. If the respect for each other is no more and it has come to a point where you both do not care about the sort of words you use for one another, you both would start to shy away from giving suggestions or even playing a part in the functioning of the relationship. We all get attracted to persons who respect us and like us for the person we are so if you tend to lose that touch of respect in your relationship and efforts to retrieve it gets fruitless then the decision is yours to make.
In many cases, you should work at saving your relationship even when you discover that your partner has cheated on you. However, this does not mean that you should try to restore your relationship in every situation. In some cases, it is better to walk away from a cheating partner if it is obvious it’s a part of that person. Walk away if someone else is continuously involved in the relationship. Show a cheater that you expect to be respected and treated decently.
● Lack of communication
Communication is the key to a successful relationship. When you’re in love, communication helps open up both your minds and creates a better bond.it helps you share ideas and know each other better. If the relationship has come to a point where there is the lack of communication hereby disconnecting both of you from each other, or better still, both of you seem to have nothing to share with each other because your minds and ideas so far apart, then the relationship is at its fall.
You should not look at your partner and begin to question why you still in the relationship asking yourself countless questions with no one to answer them. This only means that you are unhappy and in order to gain respect you have to lose the one that is disrespectful to you.
“It takes strength and courage to walk away from a bad relationship, but when you do it and you get past that initial stage of worry and doubt and fear… your life can become exactly what you want it to be. And really, the only chance that you have of ending up with the right person in your life is to walk away and be free of a bad situation.”
By: Claudia Sarpong
Writers email: [email protected]