One of the most challenging things about marriage is developing the ability to successfully manage the unexpected. Your marriage can be going wonderfully and out of nowhere something happens that throws things off balance. And it usually isn’t some major incident or event that leaves your marriage in a weird place. Often times, the simplest day-to-day aspects of our lives can amount to something big over time, and that’s what ends up threatening your relationship.
We can take for granted the impact that everyday events and situations can have on our marriages, but we have to understand that marriage is the joining of two lives, so anything that impacts us as individuals can potentially impact our relationships. Sure, you can try to push through, acting like whatever is going on is just your problem to manage, but ultimately you will realize that what you thought was your problem is causing a marital problem.
If you are wondering what type of unexpected things can become problems, read on. Although this is a list of common issues, there are so many things that can interrupt your happy union. Just remember to always consider how the things that seem to impact your world truly do impact all aspects of your world—including your spouse and your marriage.
Here are five unexpected things that may threaten your happy marriage.
I have to admit that I use technology quite a bit, but after getting things all wrong for a while, I now know my limits. Spending all of your free time attached to gadgets and checking email (or Facebook) sends a message to your spouse that you’d rather do that than spend time with him or her. It make seems innocent at first, but if a pattern develops, overusing technology can wreak havoc on your marriage.
Poor Sleeping Habits
Poor sleeping habits can be a result of personal choice, a sleeping disorder, stress, a mood disorder, or some other medical issue. And maybe you think your sleep issues are only having a negative impact in you personally, but that just isn’t so. Sleep is such a critical part of how we function and how we interact with the people in our lives. If your sleeping patterns are interfering with your day-to-day life, chances are your spouse is feeling the affects as well, and it may ultimately damage your marriage.
Discovering a New Passion
Don’t misunderstand this point. Discovering new passions is a good thing—actually, it’s a great thing. PLEASE, discover new passions whenever you can. But please also remember that when you develop a passion for something, and it’s a passion that didn’t exist when you got married, there may be a need for your spouse to adjust. Part of what can help with that adjustment is an open and honest conversation about why your have this new passion and what role you hope to see it play in your life.
Stressful Work Situation
So many of us have been in a work situation that causes more stress than we care to admit. First it starts off with an unpleasant conversation with your boss, and it slowly snowballs into a soul-sucking situation that leaves your drained, annoyed, and frustrated. Add a pounding headache to that and you end up with someone who isn’t all that pleasant to be around. There is no doubt that being stressed out at work will change you and steal your joy, and that will steal the joy in your marriage.
Self-care has to be a priority. Call it selfish if you’d like, but I think you have to take care of yourself before you can meet anyone else’s needs. If you fail to care for yourself, you end up giving your spouse the worst version of yourself, and that is not what leads to happy marriages. You may have great intentions by putting everyone else’s needs first, but doing so consistently will catch up with you. Show yourself some love and the love you have with your spouse will grow.