Here are 5 reasons people share relationship hurt on social media, and why they shouldn’t:
They want people to know they’re hurt.
When you’re pissed, someone has to know it. Whether it’s a store with poor customer service, or a family member who disappointed you, we usually have to share it with someone. There’s somewhat of a release that happens when we share. For marriage, however, we should be sharing with someone who can actually help us begin to heal.
They want someone to validate them.
They want someone to validate them in a way that says “you were too good for that person anyway.” We need to hear that it was the other person and not us. That’s why what’s usually shared is only what the other partner has done. Marriage is grown up business and the concerns we have within that union, must first be discussed with the two partners involved. Ownership, from both partners, needs to happen as well.
They want the other partner to hurt as much as they do.
It’s normal to hope the person who inflicted the pain, feels some of it too. Remember, God designed marriage, and it is His hope that we will seek Him during our trials. Taken matters into our own hands will only cause regret and more pain.
They want to know they aren’t alone.
Sometimes we just need to know that someone else has experienced this type of hurt. When we do find someone in a similar position, we must use it for healing and not to keep us further stuck in our pain.
They want some relationship advice.
Even though they don’t come right out and ask what others would do in a similar situation, they are reading those comments and hoping for some words of encouragement. We all know marriages need support. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with reaching out to a trusted source (not all of Facebook) and asking for healthy ideas for your marriage.
Of course being lied to and betrayed is an indescribable pain. It’s not one that allows you to always make the right choices or even think clearly. It’s normal to just respond without considering the consequences. Not that one really cares about their marriage at that point and may be thinking it has come to an end anyway, but this type of reaction isn’t healthy for the person who’s hurting. We must find other options to help us release, heal and move forward. Social media isn’t it.