He seems like Mr. Right. He’s so damn perfect, it’s scary. But then again, his penchant for perfection brings up issues that he puts on you, whether you control them or not. Here are just a few things a man might blame you for when it shouldn’t really matter.
• Your past intimate relationships can be an issue, even if he has had multiple encounters himself. If you try something new in the bedroom, here it comes… “Who taught you that?”
• Your hoochie mama BFF is a sore spot with him. He doesn’t like you hanging out with her, even though you have shown no signs of being swayed by her promiscuous lifestyle. He will, however, blame it on your association with her when you do something he doesn’t approve of.
• If you didn’t finish your education, on a high school level or college, that can be something he will throw out at you, even when you may just be trying to help him find something while you are driving or putting a shelf together. “I’m the one who finished college, and you’re going to tell me how to follow directions?”
• Any substance abuse problem or even an experimentation phase you might have gone through can become a sore spot with him, and again, something that he will bring up in an argument. “Are you high? What have you been taking again?”
• Don’t reveal names of past lovers. Oh hell no! Being a man and the primal instincts men operate on (yes, in this day and age), he will throw the dude’s name at you in an argument faster that Speedy Gonzalez. “Maybe that’s how Derrick did it…” or “How could you ever be with a guy like that?”
• Your lack of or penchant for the latest fashion. “Is that what you are wearing to my mama’s house?” Some men like it when you show a little (or a lot of skin), but make sure you pick your moments.
• He might get loaded now and then, but don’t you dare! He knows how he loses control, so you can best believe he’s going to freak out and worry like crazy if he thinks you are getting too zippy with your friends, especially when he’s not around.
• Your man friends… they’d better be older or gay or guys who present absolutely no challenge to him. Here it comes… “Why do you have to hug him like that?” or “I don’t like the way he looks at you. He wants to get in your pants.”
Obviously, communication and trust are missing from these scenarios. As a woman, you have to decide what’s tolerable and what is enough for you to ask him to step.