So if you feel like your s*x life is less than satisfactory, I’ve listed a few reasons why your wife might not be having s*x with you as often as you would like (and what to do about it).
1. She’s tired
This point alone could probably be ten points. Women work outside of the home more than ever, but are still shouldering far more of the childcare and household chores. If your wife is rejecting you, it may not be that she doesn’t care about the sexy lingerie you brought home. It may be that she has so much on her plate that another thing to do just becomes, well, another thing to do.
What to do about it: Make sure that your responsibilities are as evenly split as possible. I don’t mean assume. Check in with her and find out whether or not she is feeling overwhelmed. As women, I find that we do more behind the scenes than even we realize at times. So, she may even need some time to think about where she might need some help. Please note: this doesn’t work as just a one-time occurrence. Sure it helps to take the kids out for a little while one day so she can get a pedicure or take a nap, but to help really curb some of the constant fatigue, you need to make sure your regular schedules are balanced.
2. She doesn’t feel like your woman
This is especially true of mothers. We spend all day long feeling like somebody’s mother that we don’t have many places to just feel like ourselves or that woman you met and desired. We wear a lot of hats, and it’s not always so easy to get in and out them.
What to do about it: Make sure that she feels like a woman first. Be affectionate when you aren’t trying to have s*x. Show interest in her. Ask about her day and actually listen. Ask her to spend time with you and even ask her out when you can. Make sure your interest and affection for her doesn’t stop beyond the bedroom door.
3. There’s a larger issue in your relationship that hasn’t been addressed
Conflict isn’t good at staying in one place. If tension exists in other areas of your relationship, it’s probably seeping into your s*x life as well. If anger is brewing, it may be creating a wall in your intimate relationship.
What to do about it: If you are having problems with your s*x life, don’t assume that the problem begins and ends there. Don’t operate with the idea that if you’re not hearing about it, everything must be okay. s*xual dissatisfaction is often a symptom of a larger problem rather than the main cause. The best way to find out if a dysfunction exist somewhere else, is to ask, and to be open to help if you need it.
4. You aren’t meeting her needs sexually
Society tends to put the focus for women on “how to please your man sexually” and places a lot less focus for men on knowing how to please a woman. As women we are often groomed to tread lightly with the male ego, which can sometimes come at our own expense.
What to do about it: Ask! Find out whether you could be doing something differently. Talk about what she likes. And do it while loosening your grip on your own ego. A little constructive guidance will only help to make it better for the both of you.