You need to work more hours, so you can help your husband out.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Yes, a family member was giving me unsolicited advice about how to improve my husband’s and I finances. I couldn’t decide if I was offended by the fact that she’d never been married a day in her life or the fact that she had no idea what my husband and I were privately doing and discussing about OUR finances.
Quite frankly, it was none of her business. Period. The saying turns out to be true “Common sense isn’t common”. Life is teaching me that sometimes people have absolutely no idea on social etiquette, because they’ve never been informed. With that being said, here are 5 marriage boundaries your family and friends should never cross.
If you aren’t investing into the husband and wife’s businesses, you have no right to inquire about their financial situation. Seriously, it’s one thing to secretly ponder how many zeros can be found on their bank statement, but to flat out ask is unacceptable and rude.
2. Career choice.
This conversation can EASILY go in the wrong direction, so if the topic comes up, keep it cute. Refrain from asking questions like “Well, why doesn’t he work for this company?” or “Has she tried applying here?”. What if he did try working for that company and was rejected? What if she did apply there and never got a call back? Be careful. You never know.
3. First child.
Did you know some women dread to hear the question “When are you guys going to have a baby?” Why? Well, there are some couples who’ve actually been trying to have children, but have yet to be successful. Their frustration, along with your badgering, can be detrimental and add stress to a marriage. Meanwhile, there are some couple who simply want to enjoy each other, before the dynamic of their relationship drastically change. Lay off, unless you plan to provide a lifetime supply of diapers and college tuition.
4. Culture of Marriage.
Each marriage is uniquely different. People have to do what works for them. One couple may meal prep for the week every Sunday night, while it makes sense for another couple to order takeout 4 nights a week. One couple choose to spend their savings on lavish trips, while another couple chooses to save every penny they have. As long as they’re not hurting anyone, let them live. Your “truth” of how things should be done is irrelevant.
One month after our wedding, I was asked if my husband and I had enjoyed an climax together yet. The question threw me off guard, but I reluctantly answered. Thank God I’ve grown since then and realize my marriage is sacred, and meant to be protected. I wish someone would ask me a question like that today. The read that will take place afterwards is bound to be EPIC 🙂
I strongly believe that none of these lines should be crossed. However, it’s perfectly fine if you’re invited to the conversation as a confidante or shoulder to lean on. If that isn’t the case, please, politely keep your mouth closed.