In marriage, sometimes routine comes with the territory. It’s so easy to become complacent and continuously do what feels comfortable and familiar. When there isn’t much of a variety in dinner, or when the date nights all start to look alike, both are signs you’ve found yourself in a routine. Of course with working families and busy parents, routine is sometimes necessary. However, there are some habits (especially those involving the bedroom) couples must be willing to remove.
If you and your partner are committing any of these bedtime sins in your marriage, it’s time to make some alterations, quickly.
Looking undesirable at bedtime. This one can present a challenge for most women, me included. Couples, in order to make one of the most necessary parts of our relationships a priority, we have to be intentional about looking good to our partners. It’s time we hide those granny gowns, panties as well as those flannel pjs. Ladies, when protecting your crown, make that headscarf look fashionable and sexy. Men, moisturize those feet and hands, so it feels good and is a turn on when you’re rubbing them all up on your boo. Make it so your mate is excited to lie next to you.
Kicking the babies out of your bed. I know they sometimes have trouble sleeping without you, but they have to learn at some point. Why not now. Take your bed back and escort those little precious babes out. Your bedroom needs to be a place where intimacy happens, and lovemaking jumps off, frequently. The babies prevent all of that. Remember, happy mommies and daddies make happy and healthy families.
Clearing away any clutter. If you have to remove a bunch of clothes and other items off your bed to get in it, you’re delaying time for lovemaking. Keep your space clear, so when it’s time to throw down, you are ready.
Eliminating the distractions. It’s important to create some ambience and set a mood in your bedroom. A sense of peace brings about relaxation, which is exactly what it should feel like when you enter your bedroom. Turning off the tv and lighting candles with scents of jasmine, lavender and sandalwood should do the trick.
Checking the attitude/negativity at the door. If your bedroom is your sanctuary, there isn’t any space for drama or negative energy. Squash any disagreements you have prior to entering that space. Apologize, accept your partner’s apology and move on.
The bedroom is usually the last place a couple checks in with each other before the day ends. We have to be mindful and intentional about what, specifically, we want to happen in that space.