“Girllll it’s easy to love me now, would you love me if I was down and out–would you still have love for me…girrllll!?” To many, it was just a song by 50 Cent. But for many men could really relate to it on a daily basis. Society told men that when it comes to providing and protecting, the weight of the world was on their shoulders and it was the only way to be respected by women. Sometimes women believe that they are the only ones who have insecurities about whether or not they will be good enough. But the truth is that many men go through the same gambit of emotions and doubts. Here are a few questions that men might just have.
1. If I lost it all today would you still be with me?
Relationships can take us on journeys and rollercoasters. One year he could go from making six figures and providing a stable and secure lifestyle, and the next year he could get laid off and go back to barely making ends meet. No man ever plans on that happening. But just like women, men want to feel secure in the fact that they won’t be left high and dry when they fall on hard times. 50 Cent said it best “If I went back to a hooptie from a Benz would you *poof* and disappear like some of my friends?”
TNMPINMaleThinkingStanding2. If I couldn’t protect you from something would you still respect me?
As much as men want to protect their families and their women from everything, there may be a time when what he does just isn’t enough. Sometimes, he may put in the effort but he may not get there in time or sometimes he may not have what it takes to protect you from a certain person or thing or situation. If he failed you that one, time would you still be able to respect him? Or would he be met with so much resentment that the relationship would fall apart?
3. If I wasn’t satisfying you sexually would you cheat on me?
Women aren’t the only ones who have insecurities about their ability to consistently satisfy their mates sexually. He may think “what if she gets curious? What if she gets bored with me? What if she stops desiring me?” YES believe it or not men go through these same thought processes, although many of them wouldn’t dare to admit it because of course that would be too “soft” or “weak.”
4. What if I don’t turn out to be the father you expected me to be?
The same way that women worry about not being enough as a Mother, men share in those same sentiments as it relates to fatherhood. What if I don’t live up to what my wife expects from me as a father? What if my child doesn’t turn out the way I raised him or her to be? What if I’m not able to provide him or her with all of the things and opportunities that I wanted to? What if I don’t live up to the expectations? These questions are very real to lots of men.
We can’t always control how other people act or behave, but we can control the effort that we put into doing the best that we can and being the best men that we can be!
We all know that no man or woman is perfect, but maybe what you now have a better grasp of is that men deal with the burdens of imperfection as well, sometimes to a high degree. All we can do is hope that we choose wisely in a mate and that we become the best we can be personally and in the relationship. We can’t always control how other people act or behave, but we can control the effort that we put into doing the best that we can and being the best men that we can be! With that said…..rest your mind young man…and know that you can, and will deliver.