Few things match the emotional tidal wave of a breakup. Think about it. Other than the death of a loved one, are there any other moments in the shared human experience that matches the atomic hurt and despair of the end of what was expected to be an everlasting partnership?
It feels like a death.
Worse yet, unless you’re one of the rare ones that finds your true, lifelong love on the very first try, you’re going to experience that agony on more than one occasion…and it never gets easier, no matter how old you get.
Most of us have developed our own coping methods and strategies to help us power through those periods, so I won’t bore you with tips you’ve heard a zillion times. But here’s one consideration you may not have considered on the path to a healed heart:
After that split, turn to your best guy friend.
Maybe it seems counterintuitive. After all, it’s easy to turn your nose up to men after a particularly nasty falling out, but who better to assist you in reminding you that there are a bunch of great guys still out there than your best male friend?
I see and hear so many women drone on about how terrible men are, how all the great guys are taken, how all men are dogs. More often than not, those ladies have few to zero close relationships with guys. I’ve found that the women who do have close platonic relationships with guys seem to have more positive and more optimistic perspectives on men, in general.
Think about it. Your girlfriends are more apt to go down the “guys suck” road. You don’t need that. Your girlfriends are more likely to join you on that complaint train. They do it because it’s easy and they want to support you in the easiest way they can. When you’re sullen and down and hiding out at home on the couch with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s watching “The Notebook” for the thousandth time, your girlfriends will be right there to join you.
Your guy friend is quite likely to throw a little tough love your way: “Hey! Get up off the couch! We’re going to the movies! This is a no-feeling-sorry-for-yourself zone!
Believe it or not, no matter how manly or macho your guy friend happens to be, when it comes to you, he’s probably as gentle and comforting as a teddy bear. Virtually every guy has that loving, supportive, sensitive side. It’s not especially cool to show that sensitivity with the rest of the guys, but the dynamic between a guy and a woman who are truly friends is special. He’ll drop everything to listen to you, to comfort you, to support you in a way that’s uniquely special from your girlfriends. Not better – just different. That type of diversity in your support system, as anyone who has ever experienced it knows, is incredibly special and meaningful.
Often women overlook the hidden benefits of the close male confidante, perhaps understandably so. Many people still cling to the misguided belief that men and women can’t ‘just be friends.’ The archaic narrative that every guy wants to hook up with every woman around him is still the overriding belief – even among many men. I’m here to tell you— it just ain’t so!
The bonds of sisterhood are amazing in their own right, filled with the expected nurturing and support one would expect. But, trust me, the connection between you and you guy friend is one well worth cultivating when you need a breakup pick-me-up.