Yes, things change after a while. But it’s true that the best is yet to come — it just takes work.
“And they lived happy ever after.” Has this dream been eliminated from your fantasies? Do you believe passion ends over time?
It’s true that after an explosive start, relationships excitement starts to fade. Behind the lover, is an ordinary person. Behind the good qualities are the limits inherent to the human condition.
For many couples, the end of the “honeymoon phase” may be the beginning of a crossroads: to find and enhance the love that exists and make way for true intimacy or simply give up the relationship.
But there is a trap under this perspective about the end of the passion—that a long lasting relationship is devoid of desires, fantasies and discoveries. Many couples believe in and submit to a routine based only on friendship, complicity and companionship.
Of course these feelings are noble and vital. The issue is that we believe that that the old pleasure is definitely replaced by less spicy feelings. And the trouble with that is that we seek outside what could be found inside the relationship.
The threat of abandonment or even betrayal enters the picture. the thinking goes: If a relationship is growing and getting better, clearly it can be abandoned.
The problem is that good relationships, true and rewarding relationships, are running out — not because of lack of meaning, but by the lack of clarity and perseverance.
Unfortunately, instead of investing, being sincere and trying to enhance, we are unconsciously conditioned to sabotage the relationship. We demand that the seed becomes a ripe plant overnight.
This is the self-sabotage mechanism, the desire to savor the fruit before creating the conditions for its maturity. We want to be happy without even developing the basic possibilities for building a life together.
Actually, the secret for a happy and long lasting relationship is to realize that passion doesn’t end — it changes.
As long as the partners harmonize themselves as a couple, overcoming their own limits and developing a more conscious life together, passion comes back even more voracious, deeper, long-lasting, more present, authentic,and stimulating.
It is not dependent on innovation and fantasies to exist. It is founded on the basic fuel of pleasure: intimacy.
There is nothing more fulfilling than intimacy based on sincerity, communication and mutual trust. It is the source of well-being that allows partners to be spontaneous and to feel free to enjoy the most secret aspects of living together.
Of course a new and mysterious passion stimulates our more restless desires. But also there is nothing more glorious than being in love with our own love. After all, it is simply sublime to taste the most untouched intimacy of someone who shares our deepest secrets.