Has it been a struggle to make progress with the women you’re interested in? Have you found yourself feeling like you just can’t seem to get things right with dating or finding a “good woman”? It can be tough dating, but with some self reflection you can start seeing things improve. As easy as it is to simply say the issue is the women, the reality is that there are typically issues on a man’s end that need some adjusting. In my attempt to help give clarity on what some may need to improve, here are 5 mistakes men make with dating.
Check them out and let us know if you can relate? What else should we add to this list?
1. You don’t have a plan.
Women are attracted to men with vision. They like a man who can be assertive and knows how to handle his business. The man that shows he is capable of taking the lead in a situation will be able to grab a woman’s attention. So when she asks “so where are you taking me?” Answering her with “uugghh I don’t know, where do you want to go?” in most cases is already starting off on the wrong foot. Have a plan in place… but just remain flexible if it doesn’t work for her. You also should be able to show you have a plan for your life. You don’t have to present some 10 year vision, but be able to express some short term goals and aspirations. Don’t come off looking like a boy that is lost or you may constantly find yourself as a man that’s alone.
2. You aren’t confident.
Maybe you’re nervous around your date. Maybe you fear she won’t enjoy herself or that you will do something to blow your chances. Either way, going into dating thinking like this makes it more likely things won’t go well. Women are drawn to confidence and focusing on the negative will hinder your positive energy from shining through. So shake it off and get your mind on the right track. Be confident but don’t be arrogant. Focus on having a great time and there is a much better chance she will as well.
3. You’re not being yourself.
Sometimes we want to impress a woman so much that we end up trying to be someone we’re not. Getting her under the guise of your “representative” may create immediate results, but you will pay a price in the long run. Not to mention it can all backfire that same day because you come off as phony and trying too hard. So just be yourself. She needs to like you as the man you are. A man who can acknowledge and embrace the areas that could use improvement in his life. If the current man you are isn’t “enough” for most, then take some more time to focus on your growth. That will yield much better results than trying to be someone else in the meantime.
5. You don’t ask about her enough.
Don’t go into dating as if it is an audition. Approach it more like it is an interview. You should be trying to get to know this woman and determine if she truly is someone you want to move forward with. You can’t accomplish that if you are too busy talking about you, you, and you some more. How many times does she really need to hear about that business deal you’re doing, or how you stay in the gym cause you’re so buff, or whatever else you think is going to impress her. Making it all about you will run the risk of quickly turning her off. Make a conscious effort to ask about how she is doing. Give her an opportunity to share her thoughts and dreams. If you ever find yourself rambling on for too long then stop yourself and say “well enough about me, tell me more about you”. Be willing to talk and share things about yourself but you shouldn’t let it dominate the dating process.
There’s room for improvement
I know there are many other mistakes we could discuss but these five are good to focus on. Always remember that there is always room for improvement, and we are not exempt from that as men. If you’re struggling in dating then don’t be so quick to point the finger everywhere else. Self evaluation is always a good thing and it will help you become the man you need to be. Which then will make it much easier to get the woman that is best for you.