Here are five questions you should consider before you give up on your marriage.
1. Is it possible that you are struggling with a personal issue that needs attention?
Sometimes we are full of anger and resentment and it starts to damage our marriage, except we aren’t honest with ourselves about one critical thing. All that anger and resentment is not about our spouse. Maybe it’s from a previous relationship, maybe we have mommy or daddy issues, or maybe we are just mad at ourselves. Ask yourself if you are letting your marriage fall apart because you have some serious personal issues that you haven’t been able to seek the right help for yet.
2. Have you given couples therapy a fair shot?
Many times, couples go to one crappy therapist for 2-3 sessions and then call it quits. There are a lot of great therapists out there, but there are also a lot of crappy ones. Have you given the idea of getting help a fair shot? Have you tried working with different people? Have you tried working with different types of professionals that help couples strengthen their relationships? Don’t give up with ease. You have to feel like you really did everything you could to get help, before you can walk away from a marriage.
3. Have you given your relationship your all?
Sometimes we give up on trying because we just have too much baggage with us. We end up stressed out, tired, angry, frustrated, and discouraged. When that happens, the idea of investing more energy into a partnership that is failing, simply feels like too much. But ask yourself if you will truly be at peace if you walk away from a marriage knowing that you failed to give it your all because you were too tired or too stressed out.
4. Are my expectations reasonable?
Do you have reasonable expectations of yourself and your spouse? Sometimes we have this fairytale image of what marriage should be, and when it comes up short, the disappointment is hard to manage. But be real about what you expect from your spouse, and what you expect from yourself. Having expectations that are unreasonable set you up for failure in every area of your life—especially your marriage.
5. Is it possible that you are struggling with a personal issue that needs attention?
Sometimes we are full of anger and resentment and it starts to damage our marriage, except we aren’t honest with ourselves about one critical thing. All that anger and resentment is not about our spouse. Maybe it’s from a previous relationship, maybe we have mommy or daddy issues, or maybe we are just mad at ourselves. Ask yourself if you are letting your marriage fall apart because you have some serious personal issues that you haven’t been able to seek the right help for yet.
source: CandidBelle