10 reasons he hasn’t asked you out yet

1. He’s really hoping you’ll make a move first. He might like you a lot, but he’s too shy, introverted, or scared to say anything. Maybe he doesn’t know how. It’s possible (don’t laugh) that he’s never asked a girl out. Every time you spend time together, he’s crossing his fingers hoping you’ll just grab him and start making out with him.

2. He doesn’t want to do it until he’s absolutely, 100 MFing percent sure you’re going to say yes. He’s biding his time and waiting to get enough signals from you that there’s no doubt in his mind. This is the kind of guy who dissects every single thing you do. What did it mean when you said you should “grab lunch”? Until he is confident about it, he’s going to hang back. This could take years.To quote Bruce Lee, “If you don’t ask, the answer is always ‘no.’” But also, if you don’t ask, you can never look like an idiot.

3. He actually is afraid of ruining your friendship. You are great friends, and he’s worried that standing on your lawn holding up a boom box playing “In Your Eyes” could totally ruin everything you have going.

4. He just got out of a serious relationship. He likes you a bunch, but there’s a river of melancholy running just below the surface, the current sweeping all his attention to the ocean of sadness that is his heart. What I’m saying is, the guy is still recovering and isn’t thinking about relationships. Give him time to heal. Or have sex with him a bunch until he orgasms out all the thoughts he’s still storing up about his ex. Whichever.

5. He hasn’t made up his mind about you yet. He knows you like him, but he’s still feeling you out. He might run hot and then cold. Things seem like they’re going well and then he disappears for a few days. For whatever reason, he’s not sure if he should take that next step with you, and he’s inadvertently stringing you along.

6. He isn’t into you. This is simple and heart-wrenching: he hasn’t asked you out because he doesn’t like you. Don’t bother shaving your legs with Occam’s Razor if you know what I mean, ladies.

7. He likes you and that makes him feel all weird inside. He might not even realize that weird tingling he gets in his heart and penis when he sees you is puppy love. Or maybe you’re not his “type.” He’s coming to terms with liking you, because for some reason his brain hasn’t caught up yet.

8. One of his bros called “dibs.” It might be painfully obvious that you like him, but if one of his friends is crushing on you, he might not want to burn any bridges. If his friend is smart, he’ll know to give up on you eventually and this guy can ask you out guilt-free.

9. Your ex is one of his friends. There’s a half-life on exes, kind of like how you can’t step foot in Chernobyl. He has to wait an appropriate amount of time before asking you out. Sure, he could throw caution to the wind and just go for it anyway, but then he’d cause more drama than Degrassi: The Next Generation.

10. He is just completely oblivious to the fact that you like him. He may or may not like you, but he has literally no idea you want him to ask you out. Either you’re being way too subtle, or he’s way too dense. Maybe both.

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