Goalkeeper Drinks Urine

A Swiss goalkeeper is considering legal action against supporters who urinated in his water bottle during a recent match in the Swiss first division. The incident took place during FC Muri’s game at Baden at the weekend and the 34-year-old Reto Felder says he is “still feeling sick”.

“I have never experienced anything like it, said Felder of the fans, who also shouted “now you will get Aids”. “That is just primitive filth,” he said. “I took one sip and realised that it was warm but thought that it was because of the sun. But by the second sip I realised that something was wrong.”

The president of Muri’s opponents, Baden, Thomi Bräm, said he was horrified by the allegations but wanted to watch CCTV footage of the incident before commenting. A spokesperson for the Swiss FA said: “We take this incident very seriously. We are at the moment waiting to see what decision FC Baden arrives at. We can’t do too much at the moment. The club or the player can, however, go to a civil court.”

Felder still cannot believe what happened to him: “The mere thought of drinking piss is unbearable. What if, the next time, it is something that knocks you out?”