In news that is liable to break your brain with shock, I now present you some recent research about sex.
Are you ready to have your world thrown into a tizzy from which the likelihood of recovery is days away?
A new study has found that those who have a television in their room get twice the action than those who do not. Is your mind confused by this revelation? Or are you one of those people who have a TV and totally agree that this is just completely obvious?
The very important research looked into the relationships of 2,431 people to see how the TV affects their sex life, if at all. Of those surveyed more than half (2/3) firmly believe that their sex life was “healthier” because they had a television in their bedroom, and 50% of that group were totally stoked that they could watch their favorite show while having sex.
I mean, let’s be honest here, people, getting it on would be far more exciting if you had Stabler and Benson in the background solving some SVU crime. This isn’t even up for a debate, actually.
As for the 26 percent of people who opt out of having a TV in the bedroom, they’re of the belief that a television would interfere in their sex life, and, presumably, are happy without it for this reason.
But those who are all for the TV in the bedroom, 37 percent of them claim that it allows for improved sex lives because, and I’m sure you already know where this is going based on the fact that people are all about watching telly mid-sex, they can watch “erotic” movies together.
As any owner of a television in the bedroom will tell you, porn has a higher rate of being more effective on the libido when it’s watched in the bedroom — the couch just doesn’t cut it.
However, not everyone with a television in the bedroom is watching dirty movies. In fact, 29 percent said their partner would put something “boring” on and this would lead them to feel distracted during sex.
I’m not sure how even the nightly news could be even remotely boring during sex, because Brian Williams makes everything better, but, hey, it takes all kinds.
A very wee percent of just 14 responded to the survey saying that the television in the bedroom brought them “closer together” with their partner, and it is these people that we should all fear becoming.
If a TV is the glue that keeps your relationship going strong, then it might be time to check into some couple’s therapy or just call it quits.
What it comes down to is that people love their television. A 2012 study found that the average Brit spends nine years of their life watching TV, with three of those years being spent on repeats and “rubbish.” Of course “rubbish” is subjective, but either way that’s time you don’t get back.
But if you’re having sex every time you watch TV, as some of these people might be doing, then by the time you’re old, you will have nine years of your life spent having sex, too.
Being able to say you’ve had nine years worth of sex just might be something of which to proud, although honestly, you may want to leave out the fact that it was all done during the “quality” programming of E! and Lifetime movies.