Celebrating fatherhood: Show of mixed feelings

Fatherhood comes with responsibility

Fathers are considered the backbone of the family unit and it is worth celebrating their contributions to the maintenance of the family.

In the Ghanaian and African cultural setting, men can be termed and considered as fathers once they live a responsible life worthy of emulation.

This is, however, always not the case because while some fathers toil and sacrifice the luxury of life for the growth and development of their children, others do not even know the whereabouts of their children, not to talk of taking care of them.

“Sperm donors”

“If a man bears a child with a woman and fails to cater for the needs of the child, then he cannot be called a father but a sperm donor and that is what my father is”.

These were the words of 24-year-old Fredrick Osei who has not seen his father for the past 20 years since he left home.

“My mother has taken me through primary to university education, and currently I am planning to pursue a law degree at the University of Ghana Faculty of Law, and my mother is ready to sell her plots of land to help me if I get admission.”

For 26-year-old Ms Clara Afi, her father told her that he could not waste his money on educating his children, especially the girls, so he neither sent her to school nor helped her in any way to make a living for herself.

“My mother sold everything she had to make sure that my siblings and myself learnt some form of vocation,” she said.

The story of Mr Bobby Narh, a mechanic, is not different, as according to him, his father did not accept him at birth.

“My father did not even accept me as his child when I was born. He rejected me and never took up the responsibility of taking care of me” Mr Narh lamented.

Making the difference 

Nonetheless, some fathers have made a difference in the lives of their families and have exhibited exceptional qualities of fatherhood. Some have sacrificed the luxury and pleasures of buying flashy cars, houses and material things for the sake of their children.

“My wife died three months ago and it has not been easy combining work and taking care of my two sons who are between the ages of  seven and 10”

“I have to wake up as early as 3:00 a.m. everyday so that I can get them ready for school before I leave for the office. I have been doing this for the past six years since my wife got sick and died recently,” says Mr Adjei Larbi, a public relations practitioner.

Mariama Ampofo, a university graduate, said “I grew up knowing one man in my life and that was my father. Although I was recently told he was not my real father, I still hold him in high esteem as my father because he has always treated me with fatherly love, tenderness and care”.

“Even when he does not have money, he will make sure that he provides you with whatever you need. He spends all his monies on our education and deprives himself of the luxury car he can easily buy,” Sarah Amankwah, a student said.

Fathers impact on children

According to the Child Welfare Information Gateway website, children who have their fathers close to them are likely to be emotionally secured, confident to explore their surroundings, and, as they grow older, have better social connections with peers.  It said the way fathers played with their children also impacted on a child’s emotional and social development. Fathers spend a much higher percentage of their one-on-one interaction with infants and pre-school children, in stimulating playful activity than mothers.

The Children’s Act, 1998 (Act 560), section 47 states that “a parent or any person who is legally liable to maintain a child or contribute towards the maintenance of the child is under a duty to supply the necessaries of health, life, education and reasonable shelter for the child”.

Fathers’ care and love are irreplaceable in the heart of their children, therefore, irresponsible fathers should reform their ways and ensure that they take responsibility of the children they bring to the world.