This is for all the women out there who’ve ever been on a terrible date. (Isn’t that most of us??!) Whether he’s got B.O. (the type where you want to spray Lysol and fumigate the room) or has the nerdy glasses with the waist high jeans, we’ve all had dates where we want the ground to open up and swallow us whole. It’s all part of ‘the process’, apparently, but bad dates are awful, period. (We’re taking it from the gal’s perspective. But guys, while we won’t go into Jersey Shore ‘grenades’ here, we know you face your share of date nightmares. too.) For example sake, we’re talkin’ men with bad manners who order the check before you are done scoffing down the appetizer (I’ve been there!) to the guys who quack around the dance floor. They may be right for ‘someone’, but not for you. So, the big question: How do you dump a disastrous date without being impolite? We turned to Amy O’Brien, author of Stuck with Mr. Wrong? Ten Steps To Starring In Your Own Life Story . We gave her some classic cases.
You meet a hot guy online. You were very clear about what you are looking for, and by all accounts, he has met your criteria: educated, fit, single, etc. You speak on the telephone and all signs indicate that he is worth meeting for a cup of coffee.
You see him walk into the cafe and he’s clearly not like his profile: beer gut, untucked shirt, and when he comes closer, clearly in dire need of a curiously strong breath mint.
Strategy: Fight the urge to run. Even though he is not what you expected, he might still be a nice guy, just a bit clueless. Say hello with a handshake and invite him to sit down. Reach into your purse for your Altoids, open the box, take one for yourself and then offer him one. Make small talk for five minutes, and then tell it to him straight. “It was so nice to meet you. I’ve enjoyed talking to you, but I can tell there isn’t any chemistry between us. I’m going to go now because I’ve got a ton of stuff to do. Good luck!” Shake his hand, and then walk away.
You’re on a dinner date and, unlike you, he apparently doesn’t have that one-glass-of-wine rule. He’s on number five, slurring his words, and behaving obnoxiously.
Strategy: Fortunately for you, you’re a smart woman who carries a cell phone, a credit card, and some cash at all times. Quietly excuse yourself to the rest room. Inform the waiter, bartender, or manager that your date has had too much to drink and is unfit to drive. Whatever you do, do not get in the car with this guy. Call for a taxi. When it arrives, ask the waiter to hand him a note telling him you called a cab, and then cross him off your list for good.
Your brother-in-law fixed you up with someone that leaves you wondering just what kind of bad impression you left on him that he even considered the two of you compatible.
You haven’t even ordered dinner and you’re ready to leave.
Strategy: Tell him straight up, “You know what? I’m sure you’re a great guy, but I know you’ll agree that if it isn’t there, it isn’t there. I don’t want either one of us to waste an evening trying to pretend this is going to go anywhere. What do you say we just call it a night?” Chances are he’s thinking the same thing you are, and may even be relieved. If not, it’s still best to cut your losses early. Don’t feel bad.
This guy is a horror show! He hardly knows you and already he’s staring at your chest, leering at the waitress and every other pretty girl that walks by, and he has even tried to touch your thigh. ??
Strategy: Get up, grab your purse, and walk out. No explanations necessary, but if he starts after you, tell him what you really think. “I’m not sitting here with a guy who is so rude he can’t look me in the eye, stares at women, and thinks it’s okay to touch me. I’m leaving. Do not follow me.”
If done properly, Amy says women never have to think of “ditching a bad date” as a thing that might haunt you years later. If a guy is not for you, he’s NOT for you. You’re probably not for him, either. Just remember to be kind because someday you may be on the receiving end of ‘the ditch.’
What’s your favorite ‘dump a date’ story? Have you ever been on the receiving end? What happened? Leave us a comment below…